January 18, 2018
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Unicorn Booty: 7 Reasons Why the Juggalos Are Our Best Hope to Defeat Donald Trump

R. S. Benedict, a associate editor for Unicornbooty.com (yes, you read that correctly.) recently published an article entitled, 7 Reasons Why the Juggalos Are Our Best Hope to Defeat Donald Trump.

Some of the reasons they listed include being anti-racist, loving animals, and being loyal. You can read the full article below.

Our nation is in a bind. The Republicans control the government and the Democratic Party is afraid to stand up to them. The Left is fragmented and full of infighting. Only one group can save us:

The juggalos.

What are juggalos?

Juggalos (and their female equivalents, juggalettes) are fans of the Insane Clown Posse (ICP), a horrorcore hip-hop duo known for wearing clown makeup. ICP’s heyday was back in the 1990s, but they still have a devoted cult following of juggalos who paint their faces, gather at a huge outdoor festival every year and drink Faygo soda.

A pair of foul-mouthed murder clowns and their followers might seem like an unlikely political ally. But don’t dismiss the juggalos. Their subculture has immense strategic potential, for the following reasons:

1. They’re from strategic swing states.

ICP leaders Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope hail from the Midwest, and many of the juggalos come from working class rural towns. Winning them over means reaching states like Michigan, Wisconsin, Ohio and Iowa—critical battlegrounds the Democratic Party desperately needs.

2. They’re fiercely anti-racist.

ICP might use violent, offensive language, but it turns out they’re really anti-racist. They write songs about killing Klansmen and Confederates. Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope can counter Trump’s message of racism in a way that doesn’t come across as snobby or condescending. Just listen to “Confederate Flag.” A juggalo (or juggalette) absolutely would punch a Nazi.

3. They’re politically motivated.

The juggalos aren’t just music fans. They’re also politically active. They’re currently planning an enormous Juggalo March on Washington, D.C. to protest being classified as a criminal gang by the FBI.

4. They’re cultural and political outsiders.

Americans are sick of Washington insiders and political elites. They want something new and different. And what’s more different than a man rapping in clown makeup? Nothing.

As mentioned before, juggalos know how it feels to be stereotyped and stigmatized for being different. It wouldn’t be too difficult to get them to sympathize with other marginalized people, like immigrants or the LGBTQ community. They’re already completely fine with men who wear makeup.

5. They love animals.

Unlike Trump, whose mutant sons kill elephants and leopards for fun, ICP regards nature with a sense of awe. Just check out this Guardian interview:

“Have you ever stood next to an elephant, my friend?” asks Violent J. “A fucking elephant is a miracle. If people can’t see a fucking miracle in a fucking elephant, then life must suck for them, because an elephant is a fucking miracle. So is a giraffe.”

Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope would absolutely defend the Endangered Species Act.

6. They’re secretly Christian.

ICP’s work is full of vulgarities, but it actually contains themes of personal redemption and finding God. The juggalos could help wrestle religion away from right-wingers and build a community of left-leaning Christians.

7. They’re intensely loyal.

The juggalos and juggalettes have been painting their faces and going to gatherings for 20 years. Despite social stigma and political persecution, they remain a devoted family. If you can win over the juggalos, they’re yours for life.

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    Faygoluvers Comments

  1. iconunderground

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 07:33 pm GMT -6 at 7:33 pm

    Whoa…They might sympathize with the lgbtq community because they are already fine with men who wear makeup? Lmao… That line just got me rolling. So I guess juggalos painting their face is the equivalent to being a crossdresser? Lmfao… Wow… I don’t know if I should fine this line as comical as I do or feel insulted.

    Oh, and it’s getting old with people trying to align juggalos with liberals… Liberals are just as guilty as anyone for how bad things have become. DC needs a complete overhaul with a leader who isn’t afraid to tell all of the elites what the deal is. Sadly, this will likely never happen. Trump said he would be the guy to do it and I won’t judge him on that just yet but considering how many Goldman Sachs representatives he’s aligned with, that might not be a good sign.

    At the end of the day Republicans and Democrats are both as guilty as anyone… And nobody is going to convince me that Hillary friggin Clinton would of done a bit of good either. So ftfo to all political elites as far as I’m concerned.

  2. Guest

    Guest

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 08:19 pm GMT -6 at 8:19 pm

    Secretly Christian? How bout they publicly suck my nuts?

  3. TheFvckinKreeper

    TheFvckinKreeper

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 09:30 pm GMT -6 at 9:30 pm

    Is this a satire website? Someone please tell me it is.

    Even if all of these things were accurate- and they’re not- you think Juggalos are keen on being co-opted as a tool for somebody’s political agenda? Shiiiit. I’m clowning a left wing nerd next chance I get out of spite now. Thanks, unicornbunghole.com

  4. prosinz

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 09:48 pm GMT -6 at 9:48 pm

    faggots

  5. prosinz

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 09:49 pm GMT -6 at 9:49 pm

    juggalos 4 trump

  6. Puff

    Puff

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 10:50 pm GMT -6 at 10:50 pm

    FUCK THE NEW WORLD ORDER
    Keep politics out this shit for real wtf?
    Check out this YOUNG WICKED DISS TRACK ? https://youtu.be/fqllmDqt-Og

  7. Stonedhenge

    TheShadow

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 05:02 am GMT -6 at 5:02 am

    Young wicked tits for life!

  8. Fre3ky

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 11:26 pm GMT -6 at 11:26 pm

    That track is weak and the comments are turned off lol I dislike YW .but that isn’t a diss track…….

  9. scruffy

    scruffy

    Comment posted on Saturday, January 28th, 2017 11:41 pm GMT -6 at 11:41 pm

    wannabe politicos crack me up.
    ‘ewww, trump!’
    ‘ewww, liberal!’
    i have land to sell all of you. the bidding war has already begun, so act fast.

  10. MNEJVoorhees

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 08:59 am GMT -6 at 8:59 am

    Didn’t care for that article.

  11. krunkazphuk

    krunkazphuk

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 09:19 am GMT -6 at 9:19 am

    Unicornbooty needs an enema.

  12. YakkAttack

    YakkAttack

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 03:17 pm GMT -6 at 3:17 pm

    How many more liberal articles are you guys gonna post? It’s getting old. #Juggalos4Trump!! All in all though… terrible article. Steve from Florida could have wrote a better one.

  13. YakkAttack

    YakkAttack

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 03:19 pm GMT -6 at 3:19 pm

    P.s. if juggalos are “political outsiders”.. wouldn’t we be putting our full support behind Trump? Im just saying. MAGA!

  14. iconunderground

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 03:28 pm GMT -6 at 3:28 pm

    At first glance I agree with you yakk… However, let’s not forget that after all of trumps talk he also aligned himself with something like six or seven representatives from Goldman Sachs who are far from “political outsiders”… Anybody who knows anything about political insiders or DC elites has to find that a little worriesom.

  15. scruffy

    scruffy

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 06:15 pm GMT -6 at 6:15 pm

    you want a right-wing trivium about juggalos thats just as pointless as this, yakk? write it.
    or better yet, call up your favorite hawk journal, have them do it for you. dont expect a pleasant read.
    boy dont even know what the word ‘liberal’ means, only knows hes afraid of it. bet that.

  16. 216oldschooler

    216oldschooler

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 06:58 pm GMT -6 at 6:58 pm

    Fuck this article.

  17. iconunderground

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 07:43 pm GMT -6 at 7:43 pm

    Hey scruffy, I know your comment wasnt directed at me but don’t you think the bigger picture should be to forget about liberals and conservatives?..Really there both just words thrown around by political elites who don’t care about the meaning of the word or the people attached to them anyway. It’s all about the $$$, that’s why barely anything that’s said is ever accomplished… It’s all about the secret agenda given to the politics by the true elites of the world who have more $$$ than every juggalo combined could ever dream of in exchange for a small piece of that $$$. This is also why no politic on either side of the aisle has any true motivation to stop the “other party”. I agree with most that trump was not supposed to win…But when the elites realize they couldn’t do anything about it they invaded to ensure that they wouldnt lose control. This started with pence, who is a political insider. After Trump made the devastating mistake of letting pence in the “swamp” trump was supposed to “drain” followed. That led to where we are now.

    At the end of the day NOBODY in DC cares about us. There’s no “conservatives” or “liberals”, just $$$.

    Oh, and don’t get me started on the media. If anyone in the world knows how biased they are, it should be us. Does anybody remember when icp was supposed to be #1 on TRL and juggalos were all over the streets outside the building? Remember how they pushed us all back so the camera only showed the preppy audience the show was accustomed to seeing? Then what happened? MTV being MTV played some boy band bs instead. Yeah…If the media thought that was necessary to do then there is no way I’m trusting them on anything, especially things most would see as more important than a music video.

  18. iconunderground

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 07:53 pm GMT -6 at 7:53 pm

    Oh and when I mentioned”true elites” I’m talking about these fraudulent banking systems and the people that run them. I’m talking about big corporations who are bailed out time and time again. I’m talking about big pharma and how the price for the proper medication in insanely high simply so the big wigs can turn a major profit. This ain’t about what we believe, it’s about what they can achieve.

    Personally, I think it’s sickening to see how far these people have contiously ran this great country into the ground. This isn’t what our founding fathers had in mind. This isn’t why our ancestors migrated here. This is all about the rich getting richer and don’t ever expect any politican from either side of the aisle to try to stop it because they won’t. Why would they when they can become millionaires themselves just by lending a hand?

  19. scruffy

    scruffy

    Comment posted on Sunday, January 29th, 2017 08:25 pm GMT -6 at 8:25 pm

    to answer the question directed at me in the first line of the above treatise…
    yes, i think that juggalos should definitely forget about liberals and conservatives.
    lefties: trump is our president. start dealing with it.
    righties: our president has a two-digit iq. start dealing with it.
    election is over. all the unpaid lobbyists need to stick their heads back into the ground for the next three and a half years.

  20. Ubi

    Ubi

    Comment posted on Monday, January 30th, 2017 02:43 am GMT -6 at 2:43 am

    Trump is a genius stfu scruffy focus on George Soros hes the problem, Trump is a divine intervention, also its 8 years idiot and then Ivanka 2024.

  21. iconunderground

    Comment posted on Monday, January 30th, 2017 05:40 am GMT -6 at 5:40 am

    Hey Ubi, it’s only 8 years if trump gets reelected otherwise it is 4. IMO, I really hope trump follows through with some of the things he said but it’s hard to “drain” a “swamp” that consists of numerous people on your own administration.

    Scruffy, thanks for clearing that up. I grew up being told the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. My family use to believe that Democrats were the answer because that is what they focused on. To me, I don’t see the difference between Republicans or Democrats. They both appear to be all about $$$. That’s just my opinion but I do agree that things have been established to keep those at the top at the top. America is supposed to be a place where if you work hard then the sky is the limit but I feel as though that’s no longer true. You may be able to achieve a certain level of success but it’s insane to think that the sky is the limit. If I start a company and run it into the ground with ridiculous decisions then I’m on my own. I’m not a billionaire and will never be. Therefore the people in DC won’t rescue me. That’s just the way it is.

    $$$ makes the world go round, I suppose.

  22. Puff

    Puff

    Comment posted on Tuesday, January 31st, 2017 10:01 am GMT -6 at 10:01 am

    #DeportSoros lol
    Make America Not A Giant Pussy Again
    … Sounds good to me.

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