my most memberberry concerts are the ones I can't remember.  I remember bits and pieces, those are the best shows.

Watching old bikers become young again at a Danzig show is up there for me. All of them had beer guts and could barely walk but Am I Demon? made them come alive. It was the most brutal pit I've ever been in. 

Shiny Diamonds live at the Gathering, man...it made me tear up for real. All of the village chillin together under the influence of various whatnots singin together was just...fuck, man. It was a powerful moment that I'll probably remember long after I've forgotten my own name. 

Kickin it with Krizz Kaliko at my first Strange show. One of their people had just died and he was clearly not okay. We all just chilled and shared stories/hugs. Not particularly exciting but it was a very real human moment. 

Getting to see Oderus Urungus before he died. 

The first time I ever saw tricky it was the day after i lost my job in customer service. I was hella depressed but I had won the tickets and was excited so I went. 

I gave my ticket to this family that were in line to buy tickets after i got my free tix. They were two really young girls, like 14ish, and their parents who were old looking, white hair and shit. I kinda wondered how the girls got into tricky. It was in 2008 or so. He doesn't get played on the radio here at all and it wasn't like his current album was getting the love that maxinequaye had gotten. 

I went in and was standing at the barricade. It was empty as fuck. It felt so different from the juggalo shows I go to which is all I had been going to at that size. I either went way bigger or way smaller, except with icp.

Anyway the opening act was a shit dj. Then floetry came on and it got a little thicker. 

Then there was like an hour wait. 

Then it got packed like other shows. 

Tricky was playing with a live band. He did a full set with a shit ton of energy. It was wild. He did a lot of older songs but with a live band they all sounded so different. He didn't do his usual whispery vocals, they were more pronounced and raw.

Then his hour or so set ended. And it was done. People started to leave but other people kept clapping and cheering and calling his name. 

He came back out and did another hour long set.

Instead of walking off stage at the end, he came into the crowd and was walking around hugging people, thanking them for coming etc. 

I saw the two little girls crying after he hugged them. 

I saw him hug probably 20 different people before he got too far away from me where I couldn't see anymore. 

I get a lot of the particular ICP tours mixed up... so these could've been at an Old Shit Tour or the Dark Lotus shows, there were only a couple during another ICP tour.... who knows....

but my brother had a tumultuous relationship with this younger girl years back. She started a lot of shit with him and myself, even. My wife, also... just talking the wrong kind of transparently terrified shit, masquerading as someone who knows something about anything, ya know.. anyway...

I shared an apt with my brother briefly. It was a small apt, and it was wild at times. Fights in the street out front, a crackhouse directly across the street, chasing college boys down the street for being dicks.. I just realized I could write a novel out of that apartment.... anyway... this girl he was with was a menace.

My brother came home drunk and sick once, and wanted to go to sleep. I was trying to sleep in the room next door, a weird kitchen/living space conglomerate. That girl kept fucking with him. Talking shit about alcohol and drugs and such, poking him, saying terrible stuff. He went from pleasantly dismissive to almost pleading for her to stop fucking with him.

"I just want to go to sleeeeep!" he was almost in tears, by the sound. She wouldn't stop.

He began to ask her "do you want to know what a punch feels like?"

She was quiet, but then, a lapse in judgement.... she continued antagonizing him.

He must've asked her ten times, the same question. I began getting dressed for the inevitability: finally, he laid her out. Apparently, she wanted to know what a punch felt like.

She left, and came back with her mother who was talking heinous shit to us. I never even met the woman before. 

I dunno, I'm tired of typing, so many long, interconnected stories later, this girl was a severe source of hatred for me. She once got me and my brother to fight in the middle of the street, over her own instigation. Lots of shit happened.

Apparently, their last embrace was her continuously smashing bottles over his head in front of her friends to show off. He kept telling her to stop. She wouldn't. He almost choked the life out of her, after. I smile thinking about it, wished I had been there.

So, my brother was killed, some of you all know this. Years passed.

At an ICP show at The Armory in Rochester, I went to the bar on the side to catch a drink. It was bumping in that (allegedly) haunted building... crazy vibes.

I run into this girl at the bar, whom I hadn't seen in many years. As soon as she saw me, she started talking of my brother. I just looked at her, listening and smiling. Her charade cracked, and she doubled over, sobbing and heaving. 

"I can't believe I'm crying at an ICP show... I'M SO SORRYYYYY!!!" she bellowed out, and there was real pain there. Perhaps the growing up had happened, too little, too late. She was truly remorseful, and I accept that.

She drew in closer to me, and I embraced her briefly. Then, I started dry-humping her in the doggystyle position, oblivious to all of the rest of the Juggalos around us. My dick got huge and she was riding it through my pants. I rather vehemently worked her clitoris over her own pants, with my wang, from behind. My brother had mentioned how she was one of those girls that could orgasm through things as simple as nipple play, lol... so yeah, she yelped out a bar-side orgasm within about forty seconds or so from our gyration.

Talk about exploding emotions.

She was still sobbing and simultaneously euphoric, and asked what she could do to make up for the bullshit she provided back in the cramped apartment days.. I told her to buy my wife a drink and go find her in the crowd and give it to her. She did as I asked.

I didn't see her after that, to this day. But she respectfully bought and brought a vodka drink to my wife in the crowd. She said they talked and hugged and all that... so once my erection subsided, I got another drink and found my wife in her obligatory concert spot, near the left speakers. I told her every detail about what happened that night. She supported the rage-dry-fuck completely.

That was a memorable concert, for sure.

Silverchair was my first.

I was 13 and got fingered by the finest boy I'd ever seen.

scruffy said
wait a minute...  

'violent 2 dope'...?    

yeah..is that not a thing?

...should I not have?

scruffy said
well, dunno what @violentdope might feel about it, but other than that...    

oh shit

well..my bad