![](https://www.faygoluvers.net/v5/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/odiernojuggalo.jpg)
I’m not too sure on how many of you are familiar with the website duffelblog.com. To be honest until we received a email about this article i had never heard of it. The Duffel Blog post satire articles about the military. Today they decided to publish a story about Juggalos, their right to wear face paint and religion. I’m not to sure how to describe this article besides that is it rather funny. Before you get all up in arms this article is just a joke. Do not read if you can not take a simple joke.
WASHINGTON – Soon after last week’s announcement allowing beards, turbans, and other religious clothing and body art while in military uniform, the Department of Defense amended its policy to include the traditional face paint worn by members of the Juggalo religion, Duffel Blog has learned.
“The new regulations will make it more attractive for potential Juggalo recruits to join the military ranks,” Brigadier Gen. John P. Horner, Commander of the Air Force Recruiting Service said in a statement, while also noting optimism regarding diversity. ”As the repeal of DADT opened the closet door for LGBT service members, this policy amendment will open the [clown] car door for Juggalos.”
Juggalos are a small minority religion comprising approximately 33% of all Caucasian E-4 and below military members, and 0.02% of Caucasian members E-5 and above. Juggalos follow the teachings of The Insane Clown Posse, or ICP. Their religious doctrine is parsed out into ‘songs’ and released to the congregants in collections known as ‘JokerCards’ such as The Mighty Death Pop!
Commander John ‘Murdah Klown’ Williams, the Navy’s first Juggalo Chaplain, said that he was elated by the decision.
“Juggalos have a deep and sincere belief in ICP, and accommodations for our religious expression have thus far been denied,” Williams told reporters. “It’s a watershed moment for muthafuckin tolerance and equality.”
Williams travels around the Navy performing Juggalo wedding services, funerals, axe sharpenings, and Faygo anointment to the Juggalo faithful.
“It’s gratifying to know that our religious garb is going to be treated with the same deference and respect as those funny little [Jewish] beanies and those stupid [turbans] those sick [sic] [Sikhs] are wearing over there.”
Faygoluvers Comments
Violentdope
Comment posted on Monday, January 27th, 2014 03:11 pm GMT -5 at 3:11 pm
this is fake!!!lol..no shit facebook land its called satire.
mr B
Comment posted on Monday, January 27th, 2014 03:12 pm GMT -5 at 3:12 pm
We the people
scruffy
Comment posted on Monday, January 27th, 2014 03:29 pm GMT -5 at 3:29 pm
this is a great milestone in the struggle for juggalo rights.
except, i think it might possibly be fake. can put my finger on it, just a funny feeling.
novocaine
Comment posted on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014 01:22 am GMT -5 at 1:22 am
i think the best part is that now juggalos joining the armed forces are frowned upon due to us being malicious gang members
scruffy
Comment posted on Tuesday, January 28th, 2014 06:06 am GMT -5 at 6:06 am
thats no shit, either. i bump into juggalo soldiers [and marines, and sailors] all the time. half of them literally look over their shoulders when talking to me about juggalo shit, to see if anyone from their unit is watching us. they all say that they have to downplay it as much as possible. fuckin travesty.
plus, im pretty sure that they are legally barred from participating in a lawsuit against a us agency, so the aclu isnt gonna help them much.
they dont lean on as hard on the servicemembers that are in actual, REAL gangs [some recruiters, if you tell them youre in a gang, but not active, theyll sign you up without another word about it]. they lean on em, sure, just not as hard.
wonka69
Comment posted on Wednesday, January 29th, 2014 11:25 pm GMT -5 at 11:25 pm
struggalos!
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