Over at ICP’s Twitter, they recently posted a link to an article where an author wrote about how ICP and the Dark Carnival saved his life!  Author Chip Gillock explains how he’s recently completely embraced the Juggalo lifestyle, details his experience at a Tennessee stop of the RiddleBox tour, and how he purchased a VIP pass just to tell J and Shaggy how they essentially saved him.  It’s a pretty dope read, and you can see it in its entirety below.

From HorrorGeekLife.com:

Editorial: How Insane Clown Posse and the Dark Carnival Saved Me

November 6, 2016

Chances are that you’ve heard of them: Insane Clown Posse. The words “talentless” and “tasteless,” among others, probably come to mind. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I have a different view of them. I identify as a Juggalo, the name given to fans of the Insane Clown Posse, a horrorcore rap group from Detroit, Michigan made up of rappers Violent J (real name: Joseph Bruce) and Shaggy 2 Dope (real name: Joey Utsler). I have been a casual fan for over 10 years now, but didn’t start to embrace the Juggalo status until earlier this year when their music helped me when I was at the time diagnosed with anxiety, and I actually got the chance to thank them for it.

For most of my life I had been whatever I thought others wanted me to be, afraid that no one would accept me for me. So throw that in with 3 years of working phones in customer service being abused by customers and fellow co-workers, losing three cats and a close friend in the same year and you get an implosion. What bottle I had to repress my stress and anxiety just shattered. It’s sort of like in video games or movies when the hero has won many battles and come out on top only to be hit with the biggest bolt of all which strips him of his armor, his weapons, and he’s back to level 1. I had to reconfigure myself. Music has always had a way of getting to my heart so whenever I’d have an anxiety attack I’d listen to Grateful Dead’s “Touch of Grey,” which always mellowed me out. But I needed something to help me when Doubt came along. I don’t know what encouraged me to do it but I brought out my copy of Insane Clown Posse’s album The Great Milenko, which I used to love listening to years ago.  At first I was uncomfortable even jamming to it in my car on my way to or from work, because of the lyrics and language. I was afraid of someone hearing it and judging me. The more I listened to their music the less I cared. Violence aside: their music is about being yourself and not worrying about what others think. It’s about living a life from fear, and just being the best you that YOU can be. I was now able to listen to their music and not care what anyone else thought.

I eventually got all six albums of their first Joker’s Deck series and had them saved on my phone so I could listen to them on breaks at work to unwind from a stressful day at the office. Doubt was no longer a problem and I was even able to wean myself off of the medication I had been taking, with my doctor’s supervision. I had found my new armor to keep out the slings and arrows of Life that made me feel doubt and guilt that I did not deserve to feel. I later did research on the group and read that Violent J had once suffered anxiety attacks, too. He overcame his anxiety, and so can I! As I would listen to their albums I would just get stronger and more self-assured of who I was as a person. I just wished I had the chance to meet them and thank them for saving my life.

Well, I was about to get my chance, because it was announced that Insane Clown Posse would be coming to Nashville on October 4th for their Riddle Box Tour, where they would perform their third album of the same name in its entirety. It was Riddle Box that started getting them attention from record companies, but it was their fourth album The Great Milenko that really put them on the map. (To ICP fans it’s similar to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon vs The Wall: both are considered to be some of their best work, but fans are somewhat divided about it.) So I bought my ticket to the show, now I just had to save the money for the VIP pass to meet Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope backstage. My wedding anniversary was a few weeks before the show, and my wife contributed the money to get the VIP pass as my anniversary gift (If she reads this: thank you honey, I love you way more than words can describe. You are a Goddess!).

I drove down to Nashville right after work to get in line at the Exit/In where Insane Clown Posse would be performing. After getting patted down by Security I got in and picked up my VIP pass and was instructed to meet back at the Merch booth around 9, because that was when I’d get to meet the guys. So I hung around and met some fellow Juggalos. Say what you will about the Juggalos, but they are some of they most accepting I’ve ever met and give off the most friendliest vibe as a crowd that I’ve ever felt at a concert. I was using the men’s room and one guy in facepaint came in to use the adjacent stall and started talking to me like we were friends and how pumped he was for the show. At any other time it might’ve been weird, but I was glad to know that the Juggalos were just as friendly as they appeared in the documentaries I had seen earlier this year.

After enjoying the opening acts for an hour or so it was time for me to meet Insane Clown Posse. Besides myself, there were about 10 other people waiting to meet them. One of the roadies lead us back stage, i would be the first of the second half of the group to see them. My anticipation was rising as I waited my turn to go through the door. After about 10 minutes the roadie came back and lead us in. I walked in and BAM, there was Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J, in full make up. Now: I have met several movie stars in my time as a Ghostbuster doing conventions, but this was more meaningful to me. I went up to them and shook their hands as they were thanking me for coming out and asking how I was doing. I’m surprised I was able to speak, and hope I wasn’t too shaky or anything. As they were signing my copy of their Wicked Clownz comic I got with the VIP package I started telling them how I was diagnosed with anxiety back in December and how their music helped me to pull myself back together. I also told Violent J how I read that he had anxiety and how that helped me more because I could relate and the music meant more to me. They were both moved. “Thank you for that, brother.” Violent J started, “It means so much to us when we are told that our music has helped our fans. Man, I’ve seen some shit you wouldn’t believewith that anxiety, but there’s always the Dark Carnival.” He said, pointing up to the sky. (The Dark Carnival is often talked about in their albums, it’s moreorless their take on the Universe; the name they give the unnameable force or presence that helps people see through to another day.)

I had to get back to the line to let the other guests get their stuff signed and then we’d get our picture’s taken. We went to a back room where they had a Riddle Box background for the photo ops. I got in between the guys and they thanked me again for my kind words. I thanked them again for their music and for it helping me.

And yes, I got drenched with Faygo during the show. The rumors are true about them using the soda at their shows. They sprayed two liters into the crowd and then would toss them out to the fans. It was Diet Cola and Diet Root Beer so it wouldn’t be so sticky. I actually got hit in the chest with a bottle. It caught me off guard but I was fine. I even took part in what was called Faygo Armageddon, which is where VIP fans, Insane Clown Posse and all of the opening acts get on stage to hose the crowd with Faygo. I was already wet with the soda, but I got totally drenched during that and got soda on my autographed comic! The autographs were intact so it’s cool. The floor was flooded with the stuff once it was all over. I would say that, as a Juggalo, being sprayed with Faygo at an ICP show is almost like a baptism of sorts. I did feel a sense of rejuvenated pride and self. Funny what sorts of things you can find at a concert.

In closing I’d like to say that I understand why Insane Clown Posse isn’t a favorite of most people, and that’s absolutely fine. They don’t aim to be liked by everyone. I, however, did for a large chunk of my life and it broke me. I have learned some important life lessons from Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J, the most important one being to never be ashamed of who you are. A very important lesson that we all should learn and do learn in many different ways. I found myself at the Dark Carnival. Whoop Whoop!

Much props to you Chip for sharing this and shining some positivity on the Juggalo scene!  It’s always refreshing to me as a 20+ year Juggalo to hear about how ninjas end up finding out about the Juggalo family!

Websites:

• How ICP and the Dark Carnival Saved Me @ HorrorGeekLife.com