January 17, 2019
51 Guests and 1 Member Online

A Violent J Christmas Story

Merry Christmas, ninjas! From us to you! What better way to celebrated the holidays right here in the underground than with a Christmas story from everyone’s favorite uncle Violent J!

Over on the Insane Clown Posse Facebook page there been a short story posted about when J encountered the fat man back when he was 21.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, but mostly you’ll just laugh.

Check out the entire Christmas story by CLICKING HERE or check that out below.

Once again, I hope you ninjas are having a wonderful holiday season. Much Christmas love.

On a cold Christmas Eve back when I was 21, I remember I waited for Santa Clause to come to my house all fuckin night. Just like always though, that fat, red bitch never came. I guess my broke ass neighborhood don’t get the have a fat Christmas… ever! The bus don’t run on Christmas Eve, so I walked like 6 miles all the way over to the fuckin rich neighborhood. The sun was just about to come up but it was still dark. Bam! There he is! I seen Santa coming out the chimney on some big ass richly house. He just finished hooking up them people with all kinds of fat shit and I was fuckin’ super salted! I had a rifle down my pant leg that I pulled out and racked. Just as Santa was about to get back on his sled I popped him! PAP! Fuck! I missed and hit Prancer The fuckin’ Raindeer. Damnit! I’m an animal lover so I hated myself for that but I kept bustin’ ‘cause I was on a mission! PAP! PAP! PAP! I plugged that fat mother fucker once right center in the belly! Fuck yeah! PAP! PAP! I hit him in the ribs and just below his left knee. That big bitch dropped and rolled off the roof! He fell in some bushes and then he rolled off that onto the snowey lawn. I ran up to him and seen he was still alive. I asked him “Why don’t you visit the poor kids, why do all the rich kids get the fat presents and the poor kids always get coal and shit? He was breathing hard and you could tell he was in pain and he must if known he was dying. But he turned his head and looked right at me and just smiled. Then his words staggered out as he said “Tuff luck kid. The poor ain’t worth it. You people… just… ain’t… worth it”… Then he started laughing,spittin’ up blood and coughing all at the same time. Then he stopped, looked at me again and with his last words said… “Ho Ho Ho… Hoe!” I took the but of my rifle and smashed his head in like a watermelon with a beard and hat. The snow, 3 feet all around his head was spread out a blood red slush. It was pretty nasty but he deserved that shit. I grabbed what was left in his sac which was still some pretty decent shit and I walked home with it hangin over my shoulder. That morning I gave the gifts out to all the other family’s on my block, including my own. That year we all got to wake up to some fat gifts and goodys like the rich folks do every year. We loved Christmas that year boy, that shit was dope! I thought I took Santa out for good but the very next year he was back again like it never even happened. I don’t know if it was a new Santa or what, but he was back bringing big Christmas gifts to rich kids and Ho Ho Hoing us the fuck out like I never even killed him! Again the poor didn’t get shit and only rich people got the good goodys. I didn’t take Christmas away from everybody after all, and that’s a good thing I suppose. But I’ll never forget the time I shot Santa in the gut and busted his melon wide open on them people’s snowy red lawn, and brought Christmas to the hood. Merry Christmas everybody! I hope you all have a awesome holiday!!! I love you all! … Violent J

Websites:

Share

Enjoy the article so far? Recommend it to your friends and peers.

Subscribe

Be the first to our articles and get the latest updates.

facebook comments:

    Faygoluvers Comments

  1. Carnivalkilla44

    Carnivalkilla44

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 04:08 pm GMT -6 at 4:08 pm

    Don’t know if that was VJ or Spange who wrote that!

  2. Drunkalo

    Drunkalo

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 05:39 pm GMT -6 at 5:39 pm

    Haha!

  3. Karacalla

    Karacalla

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 06:06 pm GMT -6 at 6:06 pm

    Lol, Violent J and his socialist views make for some awesome storytelling.

  4. HahahaWooo

    HahahaWooo

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 06:38 pm GMT -6 at 6:38 pm

    What sorta autistic crack baby 21 year old still believes in Santa?

  5. mikeysinder

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 11:04 pm GMT -6 at 11:04 pm

    The story was fictional genius.

  6. wicket_juan

    wicket_juan

    Comment posted on Tuesday, December 25th, 2018 08:42 pm GMT -6 at 8:42 pm

    Violent J is now a rich kid!

  7. Rotten J

    Rotten J

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 06:11 am GMT -6 at 6:11 am

    What’s genius about it? It’s basically Santa’s a Fat Bitch 2018. It was comedy genius in 1994. J’s repeating himself. We already got Rebel Flag 2015, Terrible 2018 just to name a few. I still enjoy it but it is strange to me how people can consider this genius. Probably you’re new to this then I can understand. Please forgive me Violent J.

  8. mikeysinder

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 06:45 am GMT -6 at 6:45 am

    Lord Jesus you people are retarded, I was calling HahaWoo a genius, not the story, get it genius? As for your assessment of this highly intellectual piece, here’s some advice, before trying to enjoy anything that the Insane Clown Posse created for entertainment try removing the thick metal rod that seems to be inserted in your rectum. The story is just a bit of fun, lighten up and quit ya bitchen. Perhaps you’re new to this? Then I can understand.

  9. HahahaWooo

    HahahaWooo

    Comment posted on Thursday, December 27th, 2018 06:53 pm GMT -6 at 6:53 pm

    Shut up, stupid.

  10. Rotten J

    Rotten J

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 07:10 am GMT -6 at 7:10 am

    My god and I thought I was pissed off by VJ’s worshipers. Turnes out it was nothing compared to your anus exploded. Are you ok there? Merry Christmas!

  11. mikeysinder

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 08:52 am GMT -6 at 8:52 am

    Um what? Yeah Merry Christmas n shit

  12. kukluxklown

    kukluxklown

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 07:34 am GMT -6 at 7:34 am

    SANTA CLAUS = SATAN LUCAS

    END OF STORY

  13. FuckmeFuck

    FuckmeFuck

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 02:02 pm GMT -6 at 2:02 pm

    Rotten J gets it.

  14. Weponofassdestruction17

    Comment posted on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018 05:49 pm GMT -6 at 5:49 pm

    If you like it cool if not cool us juggalos like what we like and don’t like what we don’t mutha fakos

  15. Robocop

    Robocop

    Comment posted on Thursday, December 27th, 2018 04:47 pm GMT -6 at 4:47 pm

    Working hard all ya life and now you finally Rich but look at you your just another wack bitch

You must be logged in to post a comment.