November 23, 2020
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Breewitched Candles Review

Maniac the Siouxpernatural - "As Above, So Below"

Juggalos! Juggalettes! Anticipators of the next civil war! I’m finally back in action with something completely new and fresh for you all. Your boy BeZerkaveli has something extra special for you just in time for the holidays, and definitely in time to help you cope with such tumultuous times. So I hope this finds you guys well, and I hope this will be something you all can enjoy.

It’s no stranger that I have connections across this planet because of this website. Ironic, as I have rarely left Minnesota; yet my reach is far and wide. I like this because it opens me up to new people that are much different then the standard Minnesotan, which sometimes just becomes a blend of the same personalities of hicks and hipsters.

Throughout this extended reach, I was able to connect with someone out of Illinois in which has something great to offer the juggalos. So today will not be an actual interview, but a product review of something I thought you guys might be interested. With the thanks of the internet, I could have never found cool products from self run small businesses like I’m about to present to you.

Witches Brew

Witches Brew Before Burning

Anyways juggalos, the home girl Bree decided a few months ago to start making novelty candles. When she first put up the idea on her book of Faces, I honestly thought it sounded like an interesting idea. I had no clue about the absolute madness she had dreamt up. Soon after, she posted a picture of a home made candle.

Honestly juggalos, I thought it was food at first. I mean, I scroll at the speed of light on Facebook. Oftentimes, I don’t even know who posted what I’m looking at. So the candle looked like a delicious treat. After reading the caption to indicate that I definitely should not be eating the thing I’m looking at; I was immediately interested in the candles themselves. That was based off the look alone.

Within about a week or so of Bree putting her first products out, I started seeing genuine reviews from mutual friends in which were nothing less than outstanding. At that point, I knew I needed to try to get one of these candles for myself. Especially with the cool gems right in them.

Anyways, after a few weeks of being jerked around with wages, I was able to secure the like $20 it took to buy a candle (that’s with shipping). The candles run at $7 to $13. The prices can vary, but nothing outrageous. To be honest, I found them relatively affordable especially with the amount of extra stuff Bree does.

Well, of course I put my order in on a Saturday night. Smart idea… not! Never order anything on a Saturday night. No post on Sundays Harry. Anyways, it took about a week to get, but that’s pretty decent for making an order on a Saturday night.

To be honest, I was like a little kid waiting for a Christmas present. Something about this candle got me excited. Probably because it is something completely new and different. Something that is unique. Something that took time and talent to make.

Witches Brew

Witches Brew Burning

Now let’s get more into the actual review. I got the candle called Witches Brew. I do not think this is still available as I do know it was supposed to be a seasonal thing to run with Halloween. I was unsure of what candle to get, so I contacted Bree and asked. Bree got back to me and explained it the best she could to my dumb ass. Turns out it’s kind of hard to describe odors over the internet, and it only works of the person asking knows what they fuck these odors are; in which I do not. I did appreciate Bree humbly getting back to me, and explaining the difference. It did actually help me decide in the end what candle I went with.

According to Bree, it’s a cinnamon, amber, vanilla blend with notes of orange, patchouli, and frankincense. To be honest, it’s such a pleasant smell. This is the smell you expect when you walk into those like fancy home decoration stores. This candle also has some cool little trinkets such as a clear quartz, moonstone chips, goldstone chips, elderberries & flowers, and black salt. It also came with a cool little wax candy corn that was on a tiny beaded chain. I actually kept this for a keepsake.

To be honest, regardless of Bree being a home girl; she gets no special treatment here because it’s completely unneeded. This candle is hands down the best candle I’ve ever bought. Most candles you buy that smell this good don’t even come close to the potency and pleasantness of this candle. The amount of candle you get too is a damn decent amount of wax for the dollar. The wick was easy to burn, which sometimes is a fucking bitch with candles.

The Box

The box of goodies

I honestly would give this a 10 out of 10 for this. I was completely satisfied with my purchased. I was not anticipating such an awesome candle that’s a gift to my nose. I was also not expecting the awesome gift bag Bree hooked me up with which included cool things like a Rose Quartz, an awesome herbal blend of jasmine, mugwort, and rose (which actually is my favorite thing in the whole damn package. You guys have no clue how awesome this smells), and some wax melt testers of black amber plum. I do not have a wax melter at the moment, so I will not be able to test these until a little later, but I love the fact they are cast in the mold of a casket and a Jason mask. I smelled them though, and they are fucking wonderful.

Bree has the nose of a witch, because these candles are nothing shy of magical. These are perfect gifts for, well, anyone really. I know Christmas is coming up, and these would make excellent stocking stuffers. Best part is, you don’t have to break the bank to get something cool and unique that you’re going to love. I wish I had tried a few of the other candles, but that will be for a future date. Bree has guaranteed a customer out of me for life, and I will try my best to have others check these out too. I really hope you guys take a few seconds to check out her products.

One last thing I would like to review about Breewitched Candles is their business motto. Because Bree is a one woman gig, she really pours her heart out into these things. She goes above an beyond to deliver a product that’s really one of a kind. She adds things like hand written letters thanking people for the support. She adds all sorts of things in the candles that you could keep as keepsakes. This is not something you run into anymore. Too many people are all about putting out generic products for mass appeal for the maximum amount of profit. You don’t get people who pour their heart and souls into things anymore. You don’t get people who want to make things with true craftsmanship. Everyone just wants cheap Chinese knock offs. No wonder why this economy is shit.

All the goodies

All the goodies in my package

So before I go off into a rant on the impact of China on the U.S. economy; I will wrap this up. Juggalos, I had to come out of my dungeon because I was this impressed with my purchase. I figured juggalos would love to support another juggalo/juggalette based business, especially when it isn’t cheap Psychopathic or MNE knock offs. It’s something new that you guys can try. The more we can buy off her, the more she can keep putting out new and cool products.

So please, if you got the extra cash (I understand things are tough right now); please check out her shop. It would be worth at least one try. What else do you got to lose. I honestly don’t know how anyone could be disappointed, but there’s always one exception or two.

Lastly juggalos, if you’re still not convinced to try one out, the reviews speak for themselves. You can find that on her website.

 

BREEWITCH CANDLES RECEIVES 11 Faygos out of 10.

Herbal blend, Rose Quartz, Wax melts

Herbal blend, rose quartz, and the wax melts (from left to right).

 

P.S. I added a song to this interview for your listening pleasure. As Above, So Below by Maniac the Siouxpernatural on the Temple of the Witch King released by Night Shield Entertainment.

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