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360+ things you should know about jumpsteady
August 24, 2016
11:05 pm
scruffy
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jumpsteady can do it better than the d.o.c. 

with a roll of tinfoil and an 6-hour emergency candle, he can craft a samurai sword capable of slicing through a fire hydrant. 

Whoop whoop scruffy :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI, Chuckieboy

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

September 30, 2016
11:52 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Young Wicked once tried to date Jumpsteady’s daughter.

…..

That’s the end of that story.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 1, 2016
12:22 am
scruffy
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mr white suit is a jumpsteady impersonator. 

 

after hundreds of years of serious archaeological study, there is still no hard evidence that jumpsteady travelled back in time and established most of the early human civilizations. 

but he did.   

 

the estimated retail value of one jumpsteady is approximately equal to the gross domestic product of andromeda. 

 

366. 

Whoop whoop scruffy :

Old Mr Dangerous, SPOOKYtheFUNGI

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

October 1, 2016
12:53 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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When 2 Dope “stole the car with (his) tape inside”, Jumpsteady planted it there through a series of events, to teach the man about… well, that’s none of your business. 

In any given moshpit at any given time, Jumpsteady deflects all slamdancers simply by inhaling and exhaling. He’s trying to observe the band on the stage.

When 2 Dope “hooked the moon through the rings of Saturn”, it was based on something he saw Jumpsteady do.

Jumpsteady has a tattoo of YOU on his skinflesh. How can he possibly have a tattoo of everyone reading this at once? He just does.

His testicles are crystal balls, his wang is a wormhole. His pubes are hieroglyphics, spelling out an ever-shifting paradigm puzzle. Look in his crystal balls, it’s all right.

Carlos Castaneda, Terrance Mckenna, Timothy Leary, Socrates, Plato, Buddha, Crazy Phil, Jesus Christ, and the like…. the only reason they exist is due to random Jumpsteady dreams.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 1, 2016
9:48 am
spookiTHEfunguy
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Old Mr Dangerous said

Carlos Castaneda, Terrance Mckenna, Timothy Leary, Socrates, Plato, Buddha, Crazy Phil, Jesus Christ, and the like…. the only reason they exist is due to random Jumpsteady dreams.  

Fuckin love how you grouped those people around terrance mckenna, he is our jesus christ and jumpsteady is our wraith

Whoop whoop SPOOKYtheFUNGI :

Old Mr Dangerous
October 2, 2016
9:07 am
Rosco
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Jumpsteady once set the world record for longest nipple hair.

Jumpsteady is his own grandfather.

Jumpsteady can actually jump, though not that high.

Jumpsteady is his birth name. Rob Bruce is an alias.

Jumpsteady designs 2 brand new board/card games per day and has over 30 books unpublished.

Jumpsteady’s housekeeper is Elon Musk. He doesn’t always pay him.

Jumpstedy’s tattoos are fake.

I can’t think of anymore facts.

Whoop whoop Rosco :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 2, 2016
9:17 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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You know the guy that pulls up and shoots Violent J at the end of “Just Like That”? That was Jumpsteady. The next song is told from Shaggy’s perspective in “Pass me By”, the reasons are only known to Jumpsteady why this is so.

Jumpsteady made an award-winning apartment complex using discarded Dorito bags. Each building is two stories tall.

He also constructed the world’s first spandex car.

Jumpsteady once accused chestnuts of being lazy.

He would make wild claims, like he invented the question mark. 

You say no one can “eat just one” Lay’s chip? Jumpsteady just sniffed one and let it be.

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Jumpsteady did.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 2, 2016
3:58 pm
Chris
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Jumpsteady once called chuck norris a faggot, and chuck norris agreed

 

Jumpsteady once hung suge knight off a hotel balcony, thats how cold 187 went to psychopathic 

Jumpsteady holds world titles in Canasta,Bridge,and Old Maid

Jumpsteady is proof that ancient aliens exist

Whoop whoop Chris :

OCJ_Brendan, Chuckieboy, SPOOKYtheFUNGI
October 2, 2016
9:46 pm
scruffy
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imagine a world with no jumpsteady. 

see?  you cant do it.

trippy, huh?  

 

when jumpsteady dies–  excuse me–  if jumpsteady chooses to die, he will combine heaven and hell into one place, commonly called ‘Helven’, where everything is more or less the way it was before, but with even more twilight zone-style irony.  and the coffee and donuts will be exquisite. 

how do we know that this will [may] happen?  cuz its written, thats why.  see above.  

 

jump kicked my ass by proxy, using a bunch of baby gangstas that he was controlling like some kinda astral video game.  true story.  

 

ive seen him open a 3-liter with his teeth.  from the bottom of the bottle. 

 

394. 

Whoop whoop scruffy :

Old Mr Dangerous, Rosco, SPOOKYtheFUNGI

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

August 21, 2017
2:01 pm
scruffy
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jumpsteady took a picture of the full moon during a solar eclipse.  

not todays eclipse, this was back around the 12th century or so.  

  

395.  

Whoop whoop scruffy :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

August 22, 2017
7:39 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Jumpsteady jumps… steady.

Oklahoma was just a test, constructed by Jumpsteady.

Next, Mexico Gathering.

Then, Columbia.

Then, Antarctica.

Then, our moon.

Then, Uranus.

Then, we leave the metaverse.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
August 22, 2017
8:19 pm
Bonesaw Wizardstick
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Didn’t he feed a starving child to a sandwich that one time on CNN?

Whoop whoop Bonesaw Wizardstick :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
September 29, 2017
4:38 am
spookiTHEfunguy
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Jumpsteady is so damn fr3sh that when he gives you a fr3shness point💎, its worth 17 times the mythical value

Whoop whoop SPOOKYtheFUNGI :

JC
October 4, 2017
2:10 pm
Rizzle
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Jumpsteady once kicked me in the twat, the next day I had a full grown penis and two hairy balls. My husband is jealous.

Whoop whoop Rizzle :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
June 22, 2018
6:34 pm
spookiTHEfunguy
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401. Jumpsteady uses a cactus for a toothbrush and chinchillas as toilet paper!

Whoop whoop SPOOKYtheFUNGI :

Old Mr Dangerous, Carnivalkilla44
June 22, 2018
8:07 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Jumpsteady was “that new sound you’ve been looking for!” that Marvin Berry exclaimed to his brother Chuck over the phone in “Back to the Future”.

You guys may not be ready for that.

But your kids are gonna love it.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
June 22, 2018
8:11 pm
scruffy
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jump made ‘satellite’ a verb, just so he could satellite the satellites.  

which he does from underground.  

  

[edit]  

damn, theres a lot of these.  

Whoop whoop scruffy :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

June 22, 2018
8:36 pm
Carnivalkilla44
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Satelliting in 2018

Whoop whoop Carnivalkilla44 :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
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