bayAreaShaman said
See me and ck45 tryin to program. 
u better eat, wash your ass, read a book and work out everyday. 
oh wake up early.

Been felt like I’ve been doing time outside. Sometimes u just gotta ride a wave and stay strong both ways.

You gotta going thru some shit.... I think about those dudes facing years in a fucked up environment. They give themselves two choices, u either can cry in the corner and waste your time, or you push your capacity. Mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. 
Just saying choose wisely. 
I have no choice, my life is so Out of control all I can do is control myself. If I don’t I’m probably going to die or end up like ur guy up there... maybe to u guys it’s funny tv shit. 
but until I get enough money to be able to stay out of the ghetto here in the bay and until I don’t find me a girl who’s really down. It’s the waiting game. Well I’m working and waiting. 
my hero’s died alone so I ain’t trippin about no female. I mean I am hahah but like I don’t need one you know. My environment will get me. I can’t even kick it in my front house, can be sitting like a duck and I’ve proved to my little Patnas fucking trouble will walk up to you. You don’t gotta go lookin for it. Shits crazy and gives me a lot of stress sometimes. 
imma be 30 and I gotta worry about dudes and women acting like they in high school 

Tbh Nobody talks about ppl that have to like get all jacked up mentally to physically have to defend urself and others and go back to normal like nothing happened ten mins later. Like bruuuuuh wtf I just about to hurt this dude cuz he’s a crack head trying to pick on this female at the job or cuz mother fucker wants to test my nuts, and no nigga if it’s all about words I wouldn’t be trippin. Or like u try bitchin up in my Neighborhood every time. U and ur families gonna be food.

But it is what it is... I ain’t really trippin but I am. Lol
anyways thanks for reading   

app=desktop

EEvin wit stacks u dye lone lee sun

krunk said

bayAreaShaman said
...I have no choice... but until I get enough money to be able to stay out of the ghetto... u try bitchin up in my Neighborhood every time. U and ur families gonna be food...

@bayAreaShaman

we so rich bitch we b geto4life &

honey, crackheads don't even want ur nuts 4 a ashtray

  

P.S.

Maybe start reading books backwards.

YouTube Video LEATHERFACE - "SCREAM LIKE YOU ARE DYING"

Miklo Velka said

Old Mr Dangerous said
So im back out sick again. Went back for 4 days and then, out of nowhere, got a fever again.

Get up by 6 am every day starting tomorrow, and go for a 20 minute jog.

10 minutes out, 10 minutes in.

It will take about 7 days for you to sweat off all that sickness and start leveling up your stamina.

Motivation comes from within.

You can do it.

  

You know, if it really were COVID, then I might've been able to do that!

Because I would rather have had COVID than this shit.

Let me back up....

I'm still out of work. I've been so despondent, so full of pain for the last 3 or 4 days, that I could barely summon the energy/strength/focus to even move the blankets around my bed. Couldnt even play with my phone much. Often couldn't even get up to piss.

Mid march is when it started. A simple sore throat that suddenly turned into crazy fever with chills. About 3 days of misery then felt better(ish) but wasnt allowed to return to work due to the Corona scare. I finally did after a week and a half. I did three decent days back at work, working our outdoor/indoor curbside weed stuff. I enjoyed it, despite feet pain and general malaise. The third day it was sunny and 75 degrees, and I soaked up the sun, with an N95 mask, gloves and constant spraying of 70% alcohol, hand washing, hand sanitizer, and 6 foot distancing rules (trying to get the customers to obey that is another tale to tell).... 

Day Four: mid morning at work, it is now 11 degrees. That is quite a drop, eh? But I didnt mind. I'd been feeling warm, and I dress for the weather. My thermometer (which I check every day) had me around 99 degrees or less. So I power through the day. Whilst outside, I remember saying to customers that it felt colder later in the day than earlier, and them giving me funny looks. I put on my Carhartt and continued on. Started to feel an insane lower back and neck pain. Went home for lunch. Took my temp. 99. No need to worry. Maybe I was just hurting from laying around so much from the flu or COVID or whatever I had. Maybe my Lyme disease arthritic symptoms were affected by the cold weather change? Maybe that McDonalds breakfast that my awesome coworker got us was tainted by someone or something? Who knows? But I'll be honest... those last four hours of work were the most physically painful of my life at any job. I'm surprised I didnt pass out. I told the boss about my back and said I'd let her know more in the morning.

Then, once again, I awake with fever and extreme chills. Excruciating headache, shaking, body pains, confusion, you name it. Took my temp. Over 101.

I had no choice. Had to call in. Now we are all thinking its COVID but just staying home because doctors dont want you there unless you are 103 or certain respiratory issues, etc. See I never developed a cough, either time.

Then the left side of my head hurts. Not internally, but the scalp. Like a burning scab. I ask the wife to look at it, and she said it was slightly pink and tender.... two days later (two indescribably painful ones) I awake and my entire scalp is deep rose. Also into my forehead and down my neck. It hurts.

Finally doctor time. They get me in a few hours later. Super nice and goddamn the doctor is hot and smart. I take three tests: strep, flu, and COVID. Flu takes 15 minutes and is negative. COVID can take anywhere from 2 to 14 days to get results. But guess what? Strep tested positive. I'm like "strep throat? Like from when you're a kid?"

So I get an antibiotic prescription that is supposed to help out. Started taking it yesterday. Today, a few hours ago, i finally am free of the chills and freezing hands and 75% free of the body and head pains and feverish head (still testing for fever tho, about 100.whatever). But the rash, oh god. I look like a burn victim that got hit by Iron Mike. My left ear is swollen all small and beet red, and the deep pink rash covers my skull.

So I am finally un-miserable enough to research online some ideas. After hours of plugging, I am 99% certain that I have some shit called

Erysipelas. 

I had to copy that because it's so hard to remember how to spell. All the symptoms matched. (I also experienced loss of appetite, which had never happened to me in my life, but who knows about that).

Here's my educated guess: the strep infected my throat. I didnt treat it because I thought it was just flu or maybe COVID, so I stayed home and the World Health Organization told me to. Went back to work, not realizing that the strep was still lingering, waiting to rape me.

See, I developed psoriasis since moving to Colorado. White and red scabs all over my body, by mainly on my head. One spot in particular is flaky patches behind my ears. According to the internet, the strep likes to make its wait inside a ninja's body through cuts and wounds, but also has a taste for psoriasis type areas. Dead skin spots. See, there be some scabby areas above that left ear that I cant help but pick off every couple days. And that is where the pain started; above the left ear. Makes complete sense. The strep lingered then hijacked a killa through his dry skin patch then had an orgy.

Anyway, theres more details but I wont bore yall with too much more... but I'm still out of work and also simultaneously waiting to see if I also had both COVID and this strep +

Erysipelas

bullshit stuff. I am physically deformed in the nug bone now, and while the antibiotics hastily helped ease the unbearable pain and chills (I wanted to die, no lie), the rash is supposed to not subside for a couple weeks. It is said to not scar though, so that is optimistic. As I sit here in bed, finally able to enjoy simple things like playing with my phone, maybe watching a movie (I excruciatingly rewatched "Judgment Night" last night!! On Vudu), being able to move around a bed and urinate and eat food and actually talk to my daughters... as I sit here... the Mexican families around me have been partying their motherfucking asses off, jamming their music (always the same two or three basslines) and drinking Corona in rocking chairs. I admire and envy them.... also because obesity and drinking alcohol are supposedly super bad choices if you want to avoid relapsing from that ol

Erysipelas

stuff. Thank anyone who read this for listening, because I havent been able to vocalize much lately. This one was/is so rough that I only wish it on like 5 of my enemies. Take care of yourselves and be nice to your budtenders! We are humans, too.