How goes it? Hopefully good on your end or at least better then what I have had in my own life the past couple years. I thank all who take the time to read this and I am in no way asking for anything other then advice or ideas to help a ninja who is struggling pretty bad right now.I will attempt to keep it brief but I will admit alot of information may appear in a attempt to give a clear picture of the situation I find myself facing.

I first want to explain that my upbringing was terrible and many mental illness signs and medical issues where ignored by my parents that has resulted in various degrees of difficulty later in life. Including ignoring signs I have that show I may be what is now considered on the spectrum, terrible a.d.d,agent orange exposure shit,social issues, and if honest. Serial Killer behaviors that I have since through music and violent video games found a outlet for instead of digging holes for animals. I find it hard to give up on people that treat me badly because I always justify it's my fault, even when it's obvious to others or myself that isn't the case.I don't do hard drugs and I hate them due to many of the people I grew close to having died as a result, including the man I got my hatchetman tattoo with about 18 years ago.

In 2010 I became a father to a young man and though I had a feeling his mother would leave. I had no idea it would be just 4 months in and not because I did anything. She was really just a whore that wasn't happy being a parent. This August marks 9 years from when this happened and in about 5 months it marks 8 years since she even contacted me to see him.Even though I had no family to speak of. Like a real man I stepped up and did it alone for almost a year. Choosing to not move on until I felt the right person came in our lives and always stating I would not be dating further if this person and me didn't work out.

I met a girl who was damn near perfect and was understanding about alot of the weird stuff I can do. Found her mother to be the motherly figure I never had and  a bonus was I could be me around her and didn't have to hide my pot smoking to help with my ptsd from growing up. Unfortunately the pain medication my Wife took became a issue and she started a program to get off the pills that was suppose to last at most One year, that was about 6 years ago. I worked any job possible and I trusted bills were handled and I only took out the money required for herb to help me make sure I slept and could deal with the stressful job I had. Well I guess I should have made sure stuff got paid because we ended up losing our home and after 2 weeks of living in a state park I managed to get stuff started that would help us get a place but this joy was short lived as my son started showing signs of issues and she ended up losing the car I needed to get to work in.

Over the next couple years my son having issues in school required almost daily visits to stop him from being suspended from school, Doctor visits,and other stuff. All things I was forced to deal with alone in most cases because she wouldn't get the hell up before 10 pm and any possible option offered to move to a better place with opportunities in employment and such was either refused or the importance of a clinic needing to be near by stressed. All while I kept being told help to get me to a job would be there, this never happens.

My son has started doing dangerous stuff that requires alarms be on doors and him to almost constantly be watched to make sure he isn't doing dangerous stuff like playing with the electrical outlets in his room.A task that falls almost exclusively to me because she pretty much refuses to get off the narcotic they give narcotic addicts to get off narcotics or at least stop sleeping all day..She is planning things without me and rather then talk to me about it. She just mentions it in passing and like it is in any way ok or that I haven't  tried my hardest to improve the family situation. I explained how several of the issues she has and we have in the marriage is a direct result of the shit she is on and it has kinda became obvious that my child and myself as less important then the drug she is on.

I cannot justify the situation any longer and I want not only better for my son and me but to desperately get the fuck out of a place that is apparently from the shit now growing on the walls in places filled with Black Mold.Even if this mean going alone and without her.I have been speaking to my only friend I can trust with advice and a chance to move several states over has been offered. Naturally this is something I should consider I think but I don't know how I should proceed.Should I try and sit down with her and explain I cannot take the situation and having my son and myself be less important then actually getting off the dope? Should I try and raise money to get a car in hopes it helps me not only work a job again but help improve things and help us move together to a new place? Or should I just try and raise the cash to get my son and me to the new state and replace essential stuff and start over alone?

I once again thank you for reading this post and hope somehow things can improve or I can figure out how to do what my son needs to have for a better chance at a bright future. I am in no way asking for anything from anyone or implying that I hope any fund raising be took part by anyone here.I just don't know what to do and while my situation may not be completely relate-able. I know this fan base is varied in ages and journeys and I certainly am conflicted. Hope all is well for anyone reading this and once again thank you for your time.