i kinda half cried last night on my way home from performing.. i feel i generally did good and was able to find some redemption well before i fell asleep but people seemed pretty disinterested..

cried a bit recently after i saw my dad super depressed after he talked with an old friend whose wife has diabetes like he does..

i be emotional af sometimes and the littlest things can have me on the brink.. i just chalk it up to being a cancer :/

Last time I watched Rocky II (about a month ago) when he wins the belt at the end. Gets me every time.

I cried like 2 or 3 days ago. I dont want to say for what cuz it has to do with god and i  want to try and stay humble about it and not be disrespectful. But im juiced and im happy.

I cry like once every two weeks. At least once a month.

My eyes tear up all the time tho. I mean how could they not. Look around.

To much awful and awesome things to just pretend.

I got Dear Prudence in my head.

I lied its at least once a week.

I cried when 1 of them jumpd from the stage and knocked me down. And obliviously stuck his fingers in my ass. 

Last Tuesday watching Bristol City lose 5-0. 

Or more realistically when have dug out blind for 18 months my end of tour report contained the line:

not sure what he does here, needs to work harder for promotion. 

Some of you enjoy a little country.

The hook of this one is killer deep.

Everytime I remember my friend who passed away recently. It's been a little over a month since his funeral. 

He was a great artist. 

Yup, cirrhorsis caused by drinking. Cancer caused by scared tissue. 

Alright I gotta get myself out of the funk. Ya'll ready for a story?

Let's do this!

First I'll start by saying I grew up pretty straight laced. Stole a piece of candy when I was really young and felt guilty af for weeks afterwards. So I dont steal shit. I've never seen drugs are harder than pot. Yup, my first time was with pencil shavings with sticks and seeds. And I sure as shit never killed anyone.

So, it was a Thursday night and the girl I was with wanted to take her dad to Ponderosa. We all went when I noticed out of the corner of my eye she was thieving chicken wings in her purse. When I asked her about it she said she was taking them for her father. 'Why you stealing shit from an all you can eat joint?' Why wasn't he shoving them in his purse? I DONT KNOW! I felt terrible like I was going to get anal probed by security walking out the door. Terrified, I paid the bill and ran like a bitch to the car.

Then my Dad needs to go to the hospital. He had slept for 18 hours straight without a bathroom break, something to drink, much movement, nothing. The lady at the time calls him and asks how he's doing, if we needed to stop by, whatever. His girlfriend says he's good, that he's slept for 18 hours straight, everything is fine. HE WHAT!? So we then bring him to the hospital where they keep him for 2 days, he's in and out of consciousness and says he's feeling decent. So I went home to take a shower. BUT before that I get a phone call from a buddy asking if I could stop on the way home and give a friend a couple pills for him. 'Its cool, we do it all the time. Give her a couple pills, she'll give you some money, and you both be on your way'. I dont like it but they made it sound so easy, so I did it. 

A day or two later dad gets moved to the 'end of life care unit'. I sat down with my brother and sister and we talked about who was going to have him live with them. We all decided my place before the nurse finally says we dont forsee him waking up. So then it became oh shit, what do we do? They recommended feeding him morphine along with other meds to deeply sedate him. We together agreed that sounded like fun and its be the way Id wanna go. so that's what we did... Nurse lady finally came in and said he's HEAVILY sedated and he was barely hanging on. We decided to let him go. I being the oldest had to sign all the release papers.

So, in one full weeks time my life went from pretty safe to selling drugs, chicken thieving, and killing a man! 

I'm reliving all this with a smile, hope y'all can too.