10:05 am
March 30, 2013
I can take a hint.
So, here's some random......
We all love our animals. Well, most of us... I'm sure there is a pet-torturer in our midst somewhere on this forum... anyhow, let's lighten the mood and talk about some memorable experiences with our furry or scaly friends.
I had two male sugar gliders; Big Stank and Lil Poot, respectively. They lived about 9 years. Once one died, the other gave up within a month. They were homies... They have been to Mount Rushmore, the Pacific Ocean, the Atlantic Ocean. Good people. They make weird noises, from barks to what I called "the chainsaw". The latter used to scare people to death that were unprepared for it.
10:36 am
May 4, 2014
In the country (before part of my family went batshit hoarder) we had a horse & fed stray everything. Our old horse (Bones) would bring his feed bucket to me and drop it at my feet. When he saw my father-in-law, though, Bones would pick up the bucket and fling it farther out into the field. Wish I had taught him to do that, but no one taught him anything.
Whoop Whoop krunk :
Old Mr Dangerous, ScottieD
10:55 am
April 4, 2012
Not really an experience, but I just took in a 6ft columbian red tail boa less than a week ago. His name is Gerald and I call him "G". He didn't come from the best home and his previous owner could no longer take care of him.
I already have a ball python named Bane who is a little over 3ft now. My new boa is my first experience owning a larger constrictor.
While still a bit timid and leary of his new home, he is not aggressive whatsoever and loves to be handled. He took to the food I offered him after some hesitation. Later this week we are going to introduce him to a larger tank as the one he came with is not an adequate size for the size of the snake. However, it is the tank he's been in for 3yrs now so I won't be surprised if he takes a while to adjust to the new home. We'll get there though.
Anyway, I guess that's a little off topic, but figured I'd share.
Whoop Whoop Carnivalkilla44 :
Old Mr Dangerous11:24 am
March 30, 2013
krunkazphuk said
In the country (before part of my family went batshit hoarder) we had a horse & fed stray everything. Our old horse (Bones) would bring his feed bucket to me and drop it at my feet. When he saw my father-in-law, though, Bones would pick up the bucket and fling it farther out into the field. Wish I had taught him to do that, but no one taught him anything.
Speaking of horses, we grew up in a sort of shack until my dad's electric business took off. For a few years, we had horses. I was too young to remember but one time the pinted horse named Beauty bit my dad on the shoulder. He said it was the worst pain he had ever felt in his life, and almost blew the horse's head off.... even farther back, my mom said our horse got loose and the neighbor literally rode his own horse down the road and into fields with a lasso to catch her. He was successful. If you were to see this dude that caught our horse, he looked like Charles Manson, it was just a funny aesthetic to my mom lol.
My mother in law raises donkies and mules, for reasons I don't get lol. They are typically peaceful, however once olne threw her off and she broke her hip. Even the foolish donkey is capable of shenanigans, I learned.
11:33 am
May 4, 2014
What I took away from country life (cow fields all around us) is how to work with big animals, and not think that they're possessions. Bones didn't start off bringing me his feed bucket. First time he threw it away from me, he didn't eat for a few hours. Then we understood each other.
Whoop Whoop krunk :
Old Mr Dangerous
10:58 am
March 30, 2013
I've got a cow story for you.
My first time eating LSD, I was between 13 and 15. We had a big random party at my dad's, 7 miles into the country. A bunch of folks ate some mad hatters and we had quite an interesting night. Short clips of things I remember are: my friend hiding in the closet because he thought the box of Zany Fruit cereal was attacking him... seeing a girl smiling crazily by a tiny bonfire who sent shivers down my spine... at least 3 couple had sex in the upstairs garage spot... I spent part of my trip with a hammer, fixing some baseboards on my bed because another couple of couples kept having sex and breaking it... seeing my first visuals, one was a simple neon red box with a neon green S.... then, the next day...
Maybe six people stayed the night. When we awoke, my future wife and brother and friends walked outside.
There was a cow in our yard. Just chilling.
We are country folks so it wasn't too odd, but my city slicker homies were laughing like lunatics.
We called local farmers to see if they were missing one, but when we went back outside (after like an hour of petting the cow which my girl named Pussingface), it disappeared.
11:09 am
May 4, 2014
When Psyral & I lived in rural Texas (crazier than anything David Lynch ever committed to film) our hoarder neighbors had a birthday party for their baby goat named "Miracle". Another hoarder neighbor had a zebra living with her horses, until it raised so much hell she had to give it to some doctor with thousands of acres. AND my hoarder aunt-in-law raised ostriches. Jesus Tap-dancing Christ, this fucking state needs so much more than FEMA I don't even know where to start. So I'll start with 10 hours of cuteness.
YouTube Video 10 Hours Of Dog Licking The Glass Box From Twin Peaks
Whoop Whoop krunk :
Old Mr Dangerous
11:34 am
September 18, 2012
12:08 pm
May 4, 2014
1:39 pm
March 30, 2013
Speaking of zebras now.... my brother moved with his chick to urban Philly for a brief period. Lots of creepy things happening there. They stayed at this apartment with an older girl who hated my brother because she wanted to fuck his girl. Anyway, the girl was rich, and had a pet zebra that recently died. So packed in their freezer was zebra meat: she ate it for some reason.
My dad had a pet raccoon. All I know is that his dad would come home and slam the raccoon against the wall, because he was evil. Later on he raped and murdered a little girl. So, don't trust raccoon abusers. It's a sign.
Damn these aren't happy pet stories.... here's one...
Our white mouse Bruno (from "The Witches") got loose once and disappeared. We thought he was gone, since we had many strays around. We did see him a few times more, tho! He seemed to be living among the sneakier house mice. I like to think he lived a full, happy life as a white mouse in a crazy, multicultural world.
Whoop Whoop Old Mr Dangerous :
bayAreaShaman10:57 am
February 13, 2015
I love my pups!
I got a fat little half Chihuahua half pit they named lola. She was my "family's" dog. They kept her isolated in her own shit for yeeeearrs. They were gonna give her away. But thats when me and my ex first moved out so ibtook her!! They were gonna put her down but we loved each other instead. Now shes my best friend and showed me real unconditional love for the first and only time. So far. Shes the sweetest thing innthe world and acts like people.
Then they got my little sister and brother in law pups that they abandoned so i took...
Two twin little half mini poodle half shitzu..lol
I love them too. They aren't very manly but they are my friends say something!!
My dad and me used to raise goats and stuff. Grew up going to the ranch alot and milking what ever i could including ur bitch.
I want a cat but i cant until i got my own spot again. Sooooon.
Whoop Whoop bayAreaShaman :
Old Mr DangerousYOU KNOW THEY AINT NO SUCH THING AS LEFTOVER CRACK!!!- Leftover Crack
4:46 pm
August 3, 2016
I used to bathe dogs for a grooming parlor. There was a dog I used to have to bathe every week with medicated shampoo. His name was T.C. Lee, an 18 year old cocker spaniel.
Or as I called him, Pet Semetary, aka Night of the Living Dog. He was very old, but since the owner literally grew up with him, he didn't have the heart to euthanize his childhood pet. TC was blind, deaf, toothless, covered in tumors and bad skin and lacked the usage of his hind legs. His anal glands used to drain black and impacted from his herniated, angry red asshole. The shop owner had been grooming him for 12 years.
Mean sonovabitch too. He always tried to bite me with the two lil raisins he had left. That skeeved me out more than anything because I knew that if they bite you, you become one of Them.
Whoop Whoop TheFvckinKreeper :
bayAreaShaman5:11 pm
March 30, 2013
TheFvckinKreeper said
I used to bathe dogs for a grooming parlor. There was a dog I used to have to bathe every week with medicated shampoo. His name was T.C. Lee, an 18 year old cocker spaniel.Or as I called him, Pet Semetary, aka Night of the Living Dog. He was very old, but since the owner literally grew up with him, he didn't have the heart to euthanize his childhood pet. TC was blind, deaf, toothless, covered in tumors and bad skin and lacked the usage of his hind legs. His anal glands used to drain black and impacted from his herniated, angry red asshole. The shop owner had been grooming him for 12 years.
Mean sonovabitch too. He always tried to bite me with the two lil raisins he had left. That skeeved me out more than anything because I knew that if they bite you, you become one of Them.
That description is so nasty that I cannot bring myself to Whoop it haahahahaha
Good tale (tail?) nonetheless.
We had a vet friend of ours come to our house out in the country to neuter our bloodhound Winston. He did it on the kitchen floor. My dad kept pestering the bet about where he puts the testicles after the surgery.
"Whattya take em in a goddamn Ziploc and burn em?" That kind of thing. Not sure why the vet didnt just answer him, though. It was a funny scene.
12:19 pm
April 4, 2012
An old juggalo homie of mine bought a gerbil one night from the local pet store at the mall. We decided to name it Speedy for whatever reason. In any event, all we did from about ages 14-17 on Friday nights was hit the mall and then go back to my boys house and get fucked up. We always got the gerbil involved with the latter and whatever alcohol/drugs we were taking at the time we would share small portions of with Speedy. That little rodent ingested all types of beer/booze, herb, mushrooms, acid, coke, and who knows what else (in very very small quantities). He lived for 4 years, which I thought was pretty damn good for a gerbil.
Whoop Whoop Carnivalkilla44 :
Old Mr Dangerous1:03 pm
February 13, 2015
Im part horse. ;)
Ima also a nagual. I have to be careful when i sneak in ur house and take the treats u leave on ur kitchen counter. You should be careful too before you shoot an over sized dog slicing a piece of cheese in ur kitchen who turns out to be ur brother.
YOU KNOW THEY AINT NO SUCH THING AS LEFTOVER CRACK!!!- Leftover Crack
2:40 pm
April 4, 2012
3:26 pm
February 13, 2015
12:02 pm
October 30, 2013
Cuz our audience wants to be happy, right?!
So we're gonna do a nice song for everyone and everyone's gonna SMILE and I'm gonna come kick your ass mySELF!
We're gonna get real "happy" on your ass!
We're gonna get REAL happy on your ass, Buddy!
You want "happy", Buddy?! You got it, Buster!
Whoop Whoop Cheshyr :
Old Mr Dangerous"Your lack of online social presence makes it difficult for me to predict your needs..." - 2064: Read Only Memories
3:13 pm
February 13, 2015
Last week i was at my cousins wedding right. In a ranch buried deep in the California country side.
The fuckin drinks are flowing, the banda is going nuts with its trumpets and trombone bumpin.
Then out of nowhere the lights turn off.
Everything is quite.
The out of nowhere u hear a woman scream in pure agony and fear...
Then boom! The lights turn on and right there in the middle of the dance floor is my cousin with the legs of a chicken...
Whoop Whoop bayAreaShaman :
Old Mr DangerousYOU KNOW THEY AINT NO SUCH THING AS LEFTOVER CRACK!!!- Leftover Crack
4:13 pm
Moderators
February 15, 2014
@old-mr-dangerous said
...
"Whattya take em in a goddamn Ziploc and burn em?" That kind of thing. Not sure why the vet didnt just answer him, though. It was a funny scene.
You cook them ... of course!
Whoop Whoop Psyral :
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