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HookUpSpot
The Colorado Era
September 4, 2014
5:16 pm
PunkRockJuggalo
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LuckyNumbrXIII said

LTB said
That's cus everything in new york is retarded

FTFY

LTB said
Whut?

fixed that for you

September 6, 2014
3:01 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Just leaving KC-MO ... no Strange sightings hahaha... southern Illinois was 96 degrees yesterday. I pre-booked a KOA Kabin because it was cheaper than usual and timed right, turned out it was a great decision: huge storm hit us. Would've fucked a tent up. Kinda spoiled us as we did the hotel thing the previous night. The Kabins have AC, flat screen TV. No bathrooms though. Pros and coins rrywhere. The storm took that 96 degrees down to 64. Nutty. We will likely be staying somewhere in Kansas tonight. Probably won't be driving much farther into Kansas. Then tomorrow we will hit Colorado. 

So far very uneventful trip and I'm actually grateful for that. The kids have adapted well to travel although were peckerheads in the Kabin last night, as I simultaneously felt the beginning of gum and tooth inflammation in my upper left jaw. Driving with kids leaves you with very little time or space for self enjoyment, but I've been writing in my travelogue and we've been making stops to play in parks and run around stores. Only saw one hatchet vehicle early back in NY: a pick up with the male and female hatchet person in the back windows.

The Mud, Water, Air and Blood is great travel music. Favorite tracks as of now are: Villainous, Coagulate, 45 Minutes, Garden of Evil, Morbid... shit the whole album is stellar. I only usually skip Price of Life 

September 6, 2014
3:56 pm
scruffy
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i am utterly crushed, that you didnt let me know you were comin through mizzo yesterday/today.  coulda bought your kids a happoy meal or some shit.  im half tempted to hop in my car and hunt you down on the fly...   

ah, what the hell, yall got enough goin on.  hit me up during your next move.  

  

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

September 6, 2014
5:26 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Whscruffy said
i am utterly crushed, that you didnt let me know you were comin through mizzo yesterday/today.  coulda bought your kids a happoy meal or some shit.  im half tempted to hop in my car and hunt you down on the fly...   

ah, what the hell, yall got enough goin on.  hit me up during your next move.  

  

We were just talking about you a couple hours ago... what town atr you in?

September 6, 2014
5:47 pm
scruffy
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saint robert.  on i44, about halfway between stl and springfield.  next to fort leonard wood.  

i imagine you were rollin on i70, so idve had to drive a bit to have a chance of runnin into yall anyway.  aint no thang.  

  

all is well?  

  

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

September 7, 2014
7:47 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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Yes indeed twas I-70. . Yeah we camped in another Springfield in Ohio. I'm in Topeka Kansas so I imagine we're a bit too far gone for a chill up... but once were we're settled in CO we should arrange a mini gathering somewhere halfway.

My wife thought your state was beautiful. It was both our first time in Missouri and now Kansas. She's been to Colorado before but not I.

Ahhh a nice morning meal of corned beef hash and cinnamon oatmeal. Enjoy the day @scruffy and everyone! Had dreams about war. 

September 7, 2014
7:51 pm
OCJ_Brendan
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scruffy said
i am utterly crushed, that you didnt let me know you were comin through mizzo yesterday/today.  coulda bought your kids a happoy meal or some shit.  im half tempted to hop in my car and hunt you down on the fly...   

ah, what the hell, yall got enough goin on.  hit me up during your next move.  

  

Im juss saying if any of you (and you know who you are) are in the metro DC area and dont hit a ninja up i will as well be utterly crushed.  As for you Scruffy make the trip out this way and theres a bedroom next to mine that is currently unoccupied (my girl was renting it but she sleeps in my bed and were covering rent just fine on our own without a roomate...) with your name on it...

"Somewhere theres a Waffle House thats severely understaffed right now" -OCJ to Scruffy watching a second stage act at the Gathering.

September 7, 2014
8:04 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Fuck Goodland, Kansas. The religious in power don't sell alcohol here. The closest place to purchase is 32 miles away. 

Also, they dont allow restaurants to open for business on Sundays.

One more day to Colorado.

September 8, 2014
10:30 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Inna Denver hotel tonight. Tomorrow the family and I are walking to a recreational dispensary to purchase some herb products. I don't toke. But I'm.going to exercise my freedom as an American.

September 9, 2014
9:50 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Dispensary purchases: 1/8 of Phantom Cookies and my wife got a Strawberry Crunch Bar. We are saving them for a special occasion. . . At a hotel in Fort Collins.

September 10, 2014
6:54 am
scruffy
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havent been responding, but appreciate the updates.  

keep us informed, old mister.  

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

September 10, 2014
10:31 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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scruffy said
havent been responding, but appreciate the updates.  

keep us informed, old mister.  

Trying to find a place. We want a little space and privacy, so a trailer would be ideal for the time being. Its difficult. Gotta figure it outsoon because we ccan't keep staying at hotels and campgrounds or we will be sapped dry. Plus its difficult to cook at these places due to having to take care of the kids, no stoves or microwaves usually, no time to buy firewood and get a little fire going at camp sites, etc. We get stuff at grocery stores but occasionally have to buy restaurant stuff out of necessity. Just gotta find a place. Craigslist is FULL of scams. Every day. Its annoying as hell.

September 12, 2014
11:02 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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Motherfyckin peep DIS!!:

As of tomorrow we will officially be Coloradians. We sign a three month lease on a trailer at one pm. We were going to do a six month, but the kid who is renting to us, his financier got nervous that we don't have employment lined up and are from out ta town etc, despite us having more than enough scrilla. So we will sign a three month lease and go from there.

This town is called Fort Morgan, and it literally has almost the exact same population as the small town outside the city we were coming from back east. Its a decent diversity; Mexicans, whites, blacks, Pacific Islanders, hippies, blue collars, rednecks, a few rich folk, lots of good looking women. They have all the amenities a small town needs and more.

Guesses what? And I swear I'm not shitting y'all... there is a medical dispensary coming soon like fifty yards from our place. I will apply to work there, among other places.

We are geeked. The wife found that a school needs an art teacher so she's working on that.

I'll explain more when I'm settled. Last night at hotel. We have recreational stuff we got in Denver and haven't touched it. I have a hilarious story about another trailer we looked at.

September 12, 2014
11:12 am
Sean Law
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that's cool dude. Im happy for ya, and I can tell you are too! I hope everything works out for ya man.

I'll fuck you till you love me, Faggot!

-Tyson

September 12, 2014
11:52 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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I know you have kids too Lucky, so from upstate NY it took us five days of mostly camping and hotels. We could've stayed at friends in Indiana, Nebraska, St. Louis etc but it didn't time right with their work schedules and our own driving. We could've done it in less time but we had to pull over every couple hours to play at rest area playgrounds and such to keep the kids and ourselves healthy and stretched. I cannot stress how much cheaper and fun campgrounds are. Or of you have homies to crash with, even better. 

It really isn't as expensive as people fear. We did a trial run back in 2008 and learned this, despite gas being at an all time high then.

We mostly ate canned and boxed food. Its annoying getting firewood together and shit to cook with kids running around, so a luxury like a hotel microwave and fridge are great treats after scrubbing it in tents. 

We never drove more than five hours or so a day. We made it a point to relax as much as possible. We never once felt stressed from the drive, which is a miracle but we planned it right. If you could old get kids asleep at night, one could likely drive through and get afew hundred miles boost. But we tried to kkeep a decent schedule. Still trying to get used to being two hours behind my NY peeps.

September 12, 2014
5:18 pm
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You do know she's married, right?

(click image for source)   Yeah.gif   (click image for source)
September 12, 2014
7:29 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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So now that I have my actual laptop in front of me, instead of that damn cell phone screen, I'll lay a funny lil event here.

Craigslist had been overloading us with scammers for a month. Ever heard of the Nigerian scammers? We got at least three of those. I saved their e-mails for a book. They're hilarious. So needless to say, we finally admitted to ourselves that we weren't going to land any property safely online from New York.

We were staying the night in Fort Collins, and called a guy about a place in Fort Morgan (about 1.5 hours east). His ringtone was "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger, and I love Bob Seger, so I figured, hey. He answered and I could tell he was in his twenties or early thirties. He seemed okay. We scheduled a viewing for the next day. Seeing as how we didn't want to limit ourselves, we magically found another trailer in the same town, which looked nicer from the Craigslist photos, and was a hundred dollars cheaper. But as ya'll know, looks can be deceiving. 

Not this time.

We met the kid at an Ace Hardware. Followed him a mile besides this meat plant. Took a left down a dirt. Followed that dirt to a small trailer park. I saw the homes, and my level 10 optimism slid to a 7.5. We got out and walked. He explained that he and his buddies bought the park, and the tenants were all Mexicans. I'm no racist, so I didn't fret. Until I saw their living conditions. My level slid to a 5.5. We saw the outside of our "home". Level 3.0.

We entered the door. We were immediately assaulted by a swarm of flies. I'm talking hundreds. The carpet was rotted and for some reason ran into the kitchen (who carpets a kitchen?). There was a bottle of some kind of Mexican liquor on the counter for some reason. Some reason some reason... the windows weren't all, shall we say, safely assembled. The house stunk like bitter life decisions. My wife was ahead of me, observing the rooms. She moved fast, barely checking anything out, which told me everything. I couldn't look her in the eye for fear of laughing to death while pretending to be semi-interested in the shithole to the landlord. By the way, his name was Eli, and he was a physical trainer at a local school. He said he lived in the nicest trailer, and how he told two guys to turn their music down, despite them living there before he was old enough to get into real estate.

"There's a new sheriff in town," he congratulated himself. I again averted my eyes from my wife's.

I was brought back from a -2.5 optimism level to a -0.5 when i saw a washer and dryer.

"These work?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so, maybe, yup, I'm hopin'!" he blubbered.

We'd seen more than enough. 

I bullshitted him a bit then we waited until we were out of earshot. The laughter came.

The guy wanted $585 a month for that place. I am not exaggerating one bit at all when I say this next piece... okay, I'm a vengeful, occasionally hateful man that wants to skin enemies alive at times. But I would not put my worst foe to live in that shit hole. I would rather take my chances tenting under a tree in a strange field than live there. It was God awful.

We were glad in the end. Because we knew that no matter what places we looked at, NOTHING would ever be as bad as that. I've been homeless, lived with junkie scum, all over in all conditions. Nothing was more depressing than the thought of putting my little girls in that infested shithole. 

Later that same day, we met our current landlord. Another twentysomething Caucasian guy, this time a hippie from Boulder. Like Eli, he was new to the real estate game. And stoned. He was the polar opposite of Eli. He put great work into his trailer, the neighborhood was nice, and he charged $485. he painted the whole place a nice sky blue, built a two car garage, new windows, new oven, new linoleum, carpet and more. It's a bit small, but at least he's not Lord of the Flies.

he also went out on a limb for us. he recommended that I apply at one of the dispensaries coming soon to the town. he's a Juggalo and doesn't know it. Karma.

September 12, 2014
8:36 pm
MetalHorrorGuitarWhat
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$585 for what sounded like a festering stinkpile?  I think you got it mixed up who was high and who wasn't...

I'm the neck cutta and I'm one block away...

OCJ_Brendan said
Haha I hope everyone enjoys their Leg Diamond limited edition Beach towels...

 

September 13, 2014
1:27 am
DrFreshness
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Old Mr Dangerous said
So now that I have my actual laptop in front of me, instead of that damn cell phone screen, I'll lay a funny lil event here.

Craigslist had been overloading us with scammers for a month. Ever heard of the Nigerian scammers? We got at least three of those. I saved their e-mails for a book. They're hilarious. So needless to say, we finally admitted to ourselves that we weren't going to land any property safely online from New York.

We were staying the night in Fort Collins, and called a guy about a place in Fort Morgan (about 1.5 hours east). His ringtone was "Old Time Rock & Roll" by Bob Seger, and I love Bob Seger, so I figured, hey. He answered and I could tell he was in his twenties or early thirties. He seemed okay. We scheduled a viewing for the next day. Seeing as how we didn't want to limit ourselves, we magically found another trailer in the same town, which looked nicer from the Craigslist photos, and was a hundred dollars cheaper. But as ya'll know, looks can be deceiving. 

Not this time.

We met the kid at an Ace Hardware. Followed him a mile besides this meat plant. Took a left down a dirt. Followed that dirt to a small trailer park. I saw the homes, and my level 10 optimism slid to a 7.5. We got out and walked. He explained that he and his buddies bought the park, and the tenants were all Mexicans. I'm no racist, so I didn't fret. Until I saw their living conditions. My level slid to a 5.5. We saw the outside of our "home". Level 3.0.

We entered the door. We were immediately assaulted by a swarm of flies. I'm talking hundreds. The carpet was rotted and for some reason ran into the kitchen (who carpets a kitchen?). There was a bottle of some kind of Mexican liquor on the counter for some reason. Some reason some reason... the windows weren't all, shall we say, safely assembled. The house stunk like bitter life decisions. My wife was ahead of me, observing the rooms. She moved fast, barely checking anything out, which told me everything. I couldn't look her in the eye for fear of laughing to death while pretending to be semi-interested in the shithole to the landlord. By the way, his name was Eli, and he was a physical trainer at a local school. He said he lived in the nicest trailer, and how he told two guys to turn their music down, despite them living there before he was old enough to get into real estate.

"There's a new sheriff in town," he congratulated himself. I again averted my eyes from my wife's.

I was brought back from a -2.5 optimism level to a -0.5 when i saw a washer and dryer.

"These work?" I asked.

"Yeah, I think so, maybe, yup, I'm hopin'!" he blubbered.

We'd seen more than enough. 

I bullshitted him a bit then we waited until we were out of earshot. The laughter came.

The guy wanted $585 a month for that place. I am not exaggerating one bit at all when I say this next piece... okay, I'm a vengeful, occasionally hateful man that wants to skin enemies alive at times. But I would not put my worst foe to live in that shit hole. I would rather take my chances tenting under a tree in a strange field than live there. It was God awful.

We were glad in the end. Because we knew that no matter what places we looked at, NOTHING would ever be as bad as that. I've been homeless, lived with junkie scum, all over in all conditions. Nothing was more depressing than the thought of putting my little girls in that infested shithole. 

Later that same day, we met our current landlord. Another twentysomething Caucasian guy, this time a hippie from Boulder. Like Eli, he was new to the real estate game. And stoned. He was the polar opposite of Eli. He put great work into his trailer, the neighborhood was nice, and he charged $485. he painted the whole place a nice sky blue, built a two car garage, new windows, new oven, new linoleum, carpet and more. It's a bit small, but at least he's not Lord of the Flies.

he also went out on a limb for us. he recommended that I apply at one of the dispensaries coming soon to the town. he's a Juggalo and doesn't know it. Karma.

My pet peeve is when the butler doesn't have an English accent.  I mean, you call that shit classy?  I am not signing a lease on a place with some ghetto ass butler, ever.  

ma I ohw tnia I nmaddog
map deman sehctib taf gib nikcuf syawla m'I
September 13, 2014
7:30 am
Old Mr Dangerous
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Yeah guy was something else. Can't believe he didn't even buy $1 flypaper or a $4 bottle of febreze to at least try and sweeten the deal. 

Goes to show that people who toke herbs aren't morons.

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