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Top 10 best and worst music videos
June 10, 2019
10:28 pm
Iris The Tranny juggalette
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I’m not gonna take a lot of time thinking this out like I normally would, because I’m busy and why would I bother. 

But I was just thinking about how powerful music videos can be, giving your song context it didn’t have before, getting your song to the masses, making your points stronger, etc.

There’s also some fucking horrible music videos, so without doing too much investigation because I’m sure ya’ll can name some better and worse ones, here’s my picks

Keep in mind, these are all just the first thing that came to mind, and tbh I’m the worst person to make a list of this, because I usually only listen to music, so if I’m missing any obvious picks, yeah, that’s why.

Best: 

10. Behemoth – O Father O Satan O Sun 

Usually when there’s a big, super intense, grandiose song, the music video doesn’t live up to it, but this one certainly does. It’s intense, feels huge, and does a lot with what is actually very little.

9. Cattle Decapitation – Forced Gender Reassignment 

I know I’m 100% definitely biased in this, but I HAVE to give them this, because, out of all the gore fest death metal and death grind songs, they always puss out on their videos, there’s practically none from the most famous Cannibal Corpse, and a lot of others I’ve seen have looked fake as fuck, because of super low budgets, this one is ballsy as hell, fit’s the song perfectly, and went all the fucking way.

Warning: Super NSFW

8. Holy War – Thy Art Is Murder

I wasn’t sure if I should mention this one, because the production, while good, isn’t mindblowing (as in it’s pretty simple, just one shot per change), but it is bound to evoke feelings from you, and it makes a super heavy (and i mean thematically heavy) song even more effective.

7. Dio – Holy Diver

I had to put something light hearted, and this is it, this and every similar metal music video, the kind that gets you amped as fuck and wrapped up totally in the song, they’re not gonna change your life, but they’re a treat.

6. Twiztid – Dead and Gone (ugh stop) –

yet again talking about going all the way, horrorcore music videos are usually super lacking, partially because it’s hard to make it feel what your hearing is what’s happening, it takes a great director and good effects, and usually you don’t have that budget, but this one is fucking perfect, it exceeded anyone’s expectations, I’ve shown it to plenty of people and even if they don’t like the song they always like the video.

5. Steampianist – Secrets of Wysteria

This song is about the serial killer Albert Fish, it’s a vocaloid song, so there’s a 60% chance that you’ll hate it no matter who you are, but it’s creepy as fuck, and I love it, the visuals and lyrics are all perfectly in reference to the real killer and what he did, and the reverse audio at the end (while not recorded very well) is a perfect way to end it, using the real life letter he wrote of him admitting to someone that he raped and cannibalized a young girl named Grace, it’s a perfect video, and I had to mention at least one vocaloid video, because there really is a shit ton of effort that goes into them.

list=RDG0yo8BREgD0&start_radio=1 

4. 5fdp – Wrong Side of Heaven

This does what I mentioned before giving context, and by god is it depressing, the statistics as well as the visuals are so perfect for making you cry, good shit, also I know everyone hates 5fdp for some reason, but I like em, so yeah, that.

3. Wrabel – The Village

I couldn’t tell you the first thing about this artist, I’ve never heard of them, I know no songs other than this one, but, in honor of pride month, I have to put this here, it makes me cry just thinking about it, I have no idea if the whole flock of bird things is true, but even if it’s not there’s plenty of other examples in nature they could have used, so I don’t count it as a strike against them. Anyways, that’s all I have to say.

2. Childish Gambino – This is America

This video set the internet on fire, it’s filled with so many easter eggs and shit that it’s insane, I personally consider the song a political rorschach test, it didn’t give you any answers, just made you ask questions, which is the best and only consistent way to ACTUALLY start a conversation about things, it sets up a view of Black America, but it’s so ambiguous and gives so few answers, that it’s entirely up to you to decide what it means, it’s masterfully directed, and it did it’s job 10 fold. 

1. Serj Tankian – Harakiri

once you see this you can’t unsee it, no matter how much you disagree with Serj’s beliefs, this still has intense power, I consider it the best out of pure principle, because this had the biggest impact on me out of like any song, movie, anything ever. (even if I came to a totally different conclusion than he did) it’s so painful and yet beautiful and it’s the kind of shit that can change people forever. 

 

Now for the worst:

10. Almost every super cheap music video

I’m gonna put this here to just mark every horrible video with a 480p camera, no direction, and every band member is clearly drunk as fuck, there’s too many to even count in metal specifically, so I’ll leave them here.

9. Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice baby

I’m putting this low on the list, because a lot of these are based around how they ruined the song, and this song needed zero help ruining itself, but it does flawlessly lend to how cringy he is, so, yeah, I know some of the fam love him, but I’m sorry, I can’t possibly ignore the ear bleeding I’ve heard from him, idk if he has good songs or not, but from what I’ve heard, I’m guessing his best would be on par with other rapper’s worst.

8. Slipknot – Unsainted

This one is unfair to put here, but I’m doing it anyways, it’s more of this straight on shot of a person’s face, that sometimes works and sometimes doesn’t, and it may have worked except instead of anything interesting they just use seizure editing, and that mask, what the fuck is that mask, the reason I think it sucks so much is because the bar for slipknot’s videos is so damn high, they make bomb ass videos, and this just sucked.

7. Mettalica – One (kinda)

Okay, so, this music video might be one of the greatest of all time, at least that’s what some people seem to think, I certainly think the song itself is, it’s fucking amazing, and the song is based on the book/film Johnny Got His Gun, so it uses clips from it, and the clips it uses are super well picked, fit the song great, only problem is I CAN’T FUCKING HEAR THE SONG, the clips still have sound, and you can’t hear anything, I especially think the begining isn’t needed, it uses moments from the film to show what the song was about, only problem is EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS the song explains itself fine, and on top of that, if they had used the same clips but kept them silent, it would have STILL gotten the point across, but instead, I never watch this video, because I can’t hear the fucking song. Some moments are great, specifically in between solos, where there are no lyrics, just the rhythm, those are parts where the clips fill space and it sounds good, but in general LET ME HEAR THE FUCKING SONG. 

This also applies to music videos like i fight dragons – crazies$, and, if I was being objective, that video is way worse, but I have to hate the One video more, because, as I said, One is one of the GOATs. 

6. Nickleback – Photograph

A lot of the times we all forget why we hate nickleback, it’s because they were the definitive whine rock band, they’re annoying as sin, stupidly middle of the road in a genre where there are shit tons of incredible artists, and they’re complete fucking pussies. And this video cemented them as being complete fucking pussies. When it’s not boring, it’s cheesy as hell, and that summarizes nickleback up perfectly. It brings out the absolute worst in them. 

5. Three Days Grace – Animal I have become

God this was lazy, the song offers so much for a music video, because it could have been so many different things and they could have been super powerful, imagine a video of a man slowly becoming abusive to his girlfriend, wanting to change but can’t. Or someone entering a life of crime that they want to leave but can’t, or someone committing a murder and trying to decide whether he should turn himself in or not. It could have been so powerful, but instead, they gave us nothing. Seriously, this is visual nothing, nothing happens, he looks disgruntled I guess, but he doesn’t do anything worthy of being called an “animal”.

4. Robin Thicke – Blurred lines (specifically the topless version) 

I thought I’d put something pop on here to acknowledge that I have in fact heard songs other than rap and metal, and I thought of this one because it was just a horrible idea. I don’t care about the song, I’m not one of those that was like “oh it’s so sexist” I don’t think it is at all, I think that they just had exactly zero self awareness. 

The video itself is boring as sin, one shot of a bunch of topless women looking bored as hell. I don’t find it erotic at all, because they look bored as hell, and they’re not fucking doing anything. The video is cheap, bland, stupid, and the worst idea ever. 

The hatred they got from this song could have been so easily avoided with any amount of logic going into it. Put aside the idea of it was deserved or not, somebody made these decisions and thought it would go over well, and seeing as I never heard this guy again after this song, I’m guessing that he was dead fucking wrong, because nobody wants to work with somebody that everyone called “the guy who made the rape song”.

And all of that could have been avoided had they A. not used such stupid wording in their song. and B. Used a video that actually matches what they say. When he says the line “I know you want it” that set every reactionary on fire. It would have softened the blow if they had shown a girl who ACTUALLY looked like she wanted it. If they had set it up to make it actually feel like what they said, they probably would have gotten a very small backlash, but a bunch of bored looking topless women just walking around and standing in place. If they were acting like, you know, people, maybe it wouldn’t have come across the way it did, but instead they act like props, and that’s why people ended up hating it.

When your making a music video, especially if your a pop artist trying to reach the broadest demographic, you should consider what makes you look bad, because with the wrong type of bad pr. you can end up in serious trouble.

tldr: I put this here because I have no other pop music videos cause I don’t know any. And they could have avoided shit tons of controversy very easily had they taken this in ANY other direction. Also it’s just lazy and cheap.

3. these fucking videos

The ones that don’t show what the song is about and instead just show fucking b roll of the band existing, why? It’s such a waste, the two examples i put above could have had great videos, purest strain of hate is one of the most iconic deathcore songs (and the only famous one with any sort of credibility for some reason) when I picture a video for it, I see something like the cover art destroying a city, or (seeing as that’s prolly too expensive) videos of just people suffering in some way, oppresive governments, anything, something like the holy war video, but no, we get the band doing a thing. In the rise against video, what it should have shown is clips of revolution, things that invoke those inspiring feelings, it’s honestly a beautiful song, it’s amazing, and it’s just wasted with this video, and these are just two examples of these videos of the band doing a thing, instead of what the song is about. 

Don’t get me wrong, not every music video of the band just playing is bad, usually you should avoid clips of them touring because it feels less engaging, but sometimes it’s not too distracting, it depends on the song, but when the song does have a defined theme or narrative that it doesn’t fit, it sucks life out of the song.

2. Every mismatched TRASH 新 ドラゴン amv

I’ve got big respect for trash, hosting giant artists next to unknown artists, they’re great, and, the two things they do primarily (at least this is my understanding) is they payed youtube to use all those fonts, and they make sure that when they use clips from something like an anime they won’t get copyright struck (at least someone told me that, that they pay for the rights) and sometimes those videos are perfectly matched, $uicideboy$’ Do you believe in god? is perfectly matched with one of the greatest scenes from one of the greatest anime Berserk, even though the lryics don’t match at all, the overall mood and timing, does. But sometimes they match things that do not fit AT ALL, I’ve clicked on songs because they had fucking One Piece on the thumbnail, and they’ll put calming music over super intense fights, it’s stupid as fuck. 

1. Rise against – Savior

What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck.

 

(it occurs to me now I should have done top 5, this is too fucking long)

But yeah, what are your picks. 

C R O N C H Y

L O B S T E R

June 10, 2019
11:24 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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I like the “Unsainted” video. It appeared on a random drunken/stoned YouTube night and I had no idea that there was new Slipknot. It definitely has a “Dark Knight” vibe.

June 11, 2019
9:45 am
krunkazphuk
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Can’t do 10 of each (time’s a bitch) but here are a few legendary greats that scare the fuck outta the dead wood,

YouTube Video Marilyn Manson – Disposable Teens (Official Music Video)

YouTube Video Insane Clown Posse – Halls Of Illusions (Unedited Official Video)

are hauntingly stunning,

YouTube Video Tricky – ‘Hell Is Round the Corner’ (Official Video)

YouTube Video Massive Attack – Teardrop

and make me laugh every damn time I hit play:

YouTube Video PUSCIFER “Conditions of My Parole” Directors Cut

YouTube Video Consolidated- Butyric Acid

And fuck worst, cuz

Ykxnx6w.jpg

smile

Whoop whoop krunkazphuk :

Iris The Tranny juggalette

krunk.gif

June 11, 2019
10:15 pm
the_deplorable_smack
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your worst list is far superior that your best list

that nickleback video is awsome everybody is in that video from three six mafia to wayne gretsky to zz top to hugh hefner it’s definatly a cool music video and nickleback ain’ that bad they aint that good either but twiztid is way worst

THE ALMIGHTY SMACK

June 12, 2019
6:30 pm
The Warlock
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I’m a do my top 5..

 

I was in the 6th grade when this dropped.. Even though i watched music videos constantly, at the time, this one blew me way..

 

this one has an excellent concept & cgi

 

I saw this around the time I graduated from high school.. it does a great job capturing the magic of recording..

 

I saw this a few yrs ago I love the witch references..

 

This is easily my favorite music video that I can think of.. super low budget but it captures everything about the song it needs to..

Whoop whoop The Warlock :

Iris The Tranny juggalette

June 12, 2019
7:18 pm
Iris The Tranny juggalette
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The Warlock said
I’m a do my top 5..

 

I was in the 6th grade when this dropped.. Even though i watched music videos constantly, at the time, this one blew me way..

 

Omg, that part where they drop the cigarette and causes the fucking explosion is one of my favorite moments in any music video.

C R O N C H Y

L O B S T E R

June 12, 2019
7:19 pm
the_deplorable_smack
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this is easily one of the best music videos I ever seen

THE ALMIGHTY SMACK

June 13, 2019
8:12 pm
Iris The Tranny juggalette
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I have no idea what I was thinking choosing Holy DIver as the fun song (guess I just felt obligated to mention some classic metal), it’s fucking this 

Edit: Let us Slay might not actually be the best GWAR music video, but they’re all cheese plated gold, so it’s all good.

C R O N C H Y

L O B S T E R

June 20, 2019
12:21 pm
krunkazphuk
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krunkazphuk said
…And fuck worst, cuz

Ykxnx6w.jpg

smile  

Correction: This video is so rancidly douchey that I’ll make time. The only thing that could save it is if GWAR stormed the set at the end and mulched these motherfuckers in alphabetical order:

YouTube Video OMNIA (Official) – Earth Warrior 

Whoop whoop krunkazphuk :

Iris The Tranny juggalette

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June 20, 2019
12:54 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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Fuc

krunkazphuk said

krunkazphuk said
…And fuck worst, cuz
Ykxnx6w.jpg


smile  

Correction: This video is so rancidly douchey that I’ll make time. The only thing that could save it is if GWAR stormed the set at the end and mulched these motherfuckers in alphabetical order:

YouTube Video OMNIA (Official) – Earth Warrior   

Fuck you for helping this exist.

Whoop whoop Old Mr Dangerous :

Iris The Tranny juggalette
June 20, 2019
12:59 pm
Old Mr Dangerous
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https://youtu.be/qOL9I2PEJzA

These poor girls. I almost forgot about their whole debacle. Fuck this shit.

June 20, 2019
2:00 pm
The Warlock
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Old Mr Dangerous said

These poor girls. I almost forgot about their whole debacle. Fuck this shit.  

arent those krunk & psyrals lil devils??

June 20, 2019
5:06 pm
krunkazphuk
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Somehow this video is in both my top “Best” and “Worst” lists for the exact same reasons:

YouTube Video Run That Check ( Official Music Video ) , Leftcheek Rightcheek

krunk.gif

June 21, 2019
12:37 am
Iris The Tranny juggalette
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krunkazphuk said

krunkazphuk said
…And fuck worst, cuz
Ykxnx6w.jpg


smile  

Correction: This video is so rancidly douchey that I’ll make time. The only thing that could save it is if GWAR stormed the set at the end and mulched these motherfuckers in alphabetical order:

YouTube Video OMNIA (Official) – Earth Warrior   

I am in physical pain hearing this song.

This is not how you fight for the earth. 

This is.

(I love these guys so fucking much, they have the balls to use clean singing in a goregrind band, how fucking cool is that.       This isn’t even one of their strongest songs, but it’s the first one I thought of that was climate changey.)

But seriously though, that Earth Warrior song, how the fuck do you have so little self awareness that you let that happen, that you let that be what you put out for the world to see. 

Warrior is literally a word being used to describe a pretentious twat, who thought that was a good idea?

Chrome’s balls, that needs to unexist.

C R O N C H Y

L O B S T E R

June 21, 2019
8:46 am
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Hard Target… By far the most uncomfortable looking man who has ever been on camera.

June 24, 2019
12:53 pm
krunkazphuk
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Hardboiled nightmares all around:

YouTube Video GUTTER – Yelawolf Ft. Rittz …A Short Film. 

krunk.gif

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