Some of yall football heads know the Seattle Seahawks.

11"x23" when its fully cut out.

My first paid gig, yo!

Drunkalo asked me about my housing situation. Hoowee.... my strange path continues. 

So we have been here 5 years as of this October. We have moved 5 times. So that is every year on average. 

Long story short (most of it is in the "Colorado Era" thread, the first tiny trailer we stayed in for over a year. We found a bigger place a few roads over and stayed there for 2 years. The owners decided to put it on the market so we (at the last second) found a nice big rental out in the sticks. We loved it, mostly. Despite the goathead plants. So, seemingly sympathetic to our plight of being moved out so the owners can capitalize on the Colorado housing insanity, the new people promised us that they wouldn't do that to us. Well, they did. So with a month to spare, we found the only apartments for hundreds of miles that would take pets. Brand new but tiny and awful apartments in a farther away spot. 

We have been here four months. Our downstairs neighbor is this mini-celebrity cunt who was featured on NBC's "The Titan Games" with The Rock last year. She is the devil. Completely steroided-out daddy's girl from Texas who, for some reason, never found a way to capitalize off of her 15 minutes of fame, and now lives in a shitty apartment with two cunt dogs. Her hobbies include emailing and calling in complaints about my family and I upstairs and the gentleman on the other side of her. She is completely delusional. She claimed that we had some sort of alarm going off every morning at 4:00 am. We dont. I actually do not require an alarm clock to get up and have still never been late to any job. She said that we were all "jumping and scratching" in the early and late hours. We are not. My kids and wife and I are always asleep at usual hours and we have even taught the girls to use "fairy feet", aka delicate walking to appease this delusional cunt. 

Yesterday, we received a letter saying that if we do not be quieter within 10 days, we will be kicked out. I'm not joking.

The first time we heard of complaints, we retaliated by letting them know how she comes home in a rage, screaming loudly over the phone about some married man that doesn't love her back (she is fucking him). She swears and screams and then we hear her having rather unexciting intercourse some nights. Also she keeps her two cunt dogs off a leash which is a violation. 

However, the squeaky wheel gets the grease. She has apparently been complaining so much that the Realty company is going by the unsupported, proofless word of some disgusting Texas cunt and we will be soon kicked out unless we escape. 

As I've mentioned, there are no places to rent out here. Housing crisis. However, yesterday, by some stroke of luck, we found a trailer that accepts pets in the same little area where our first two rentals were. Which is cool, because it is in walking distance to my worm at the dispensary. So I paid two $35 application fees, went through a bunch of red tape, and we may be able to land the place tomorrow if I can lay down the cash. For the first time in my life, I will be attempting a bank loan. Do any of yall have experience with that? My wife and I both have credit scores over 750, and stable jobs. We just need to be able to get the loan AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, because we dont want some fucker nabbing this rental from us. I'm going to the bank tomorrow to chat, and if they take too long then I have read that online loaners can get you one in as little as a few minutes.

The drawback? If we indeed get it, then we will be Breaking this lease early and will likely have to still pay for the last two months of this lease simultaneously with the new place. So we will be in debt for the first time in our lives. I actually have paid my college loan off years ago. I am an insanely responsible dude with the most unbelievably rotten luck ever. 

So send good vibes our way, homies. Hope that we get this trailer (which is also a realty company, so more bullshit, but st least we wont be at the whim of The Banshee (that's what we call The Titan Games cunt). Also I had reported the cunt from this current realty agency to the BBB months back, so this may be all her puppet master revenge. 

We will save loads on gas and wont need a storage bin anymore because we will have a huge garage again. That's a plus.

So tonight I am drinking and toking vapes and watching "Life After Beth" for Halloween. Because I currently have a thing for Aubrey Plaza. Painted up as a green Violent J at the dispensary today, as I do most years. Happy Halloween, friends! 

Loans happen pretty quick. Apply early a.m., get approved late that day or the next, sign papers for said loan, sometimes theyll cut you a check right there. 3-5 days tops. 

Id call the new apartment, offer my entire life savings and the name of my first child if they could hold it for us, then shoot straight to the bank.

Never tried an online application, i like to go to places i know so i know who to talk to. Face to face business dealings.

Ps, the Mrs is fixed but they dont know that. Id never be able to name a kid after anyone.

Dude, I have 2 beers and the mrs says i act different, 4 and I cant talk right, 6 im ready for bed. Id like to see you go beer for beer with Smack. I think he is the professional here.

I have drank 12 strong beers a night for the past 2 1/2 years never missing a single night

I started drinking every night since 2010 during the opening ceremonies of the Vancouver Olympics during this very beautiful song

so it's KD Lang's fault I am an alphaholic 

I am a heavyweight when it comes to beer drinking but I can't handle the strong stuff or wine my legs stop working and I fall down and such but beer is like water to me.

but I also eat before I start drinking and drink lots of water before going to bed

thank god I have a strong bladder and almost never piss

it also helps that I am pushing 6'3 and weigh 240 pounds

Liquors are good if their mixed. I dont like anything straight. Its been forever since ive had anything tho. I stick mostly to lighter beers. And only a few at a time.

The only time in my 38 years that i weighed more than 115 lbs was when i drank a half gallon of double chocolate milk for lunch for a month straight. It constipated me and i went up to 118. My body wont hold the weight, and if it does it means i cant poop. Its all weird.

Drunkalo said
Id like to ask a question if I may. This was also brought up a bit ago.

Im sure its been brought up before. Mr. @King_Lucem_Ferre you claim your not a Juggalo. Is it just cause you don't like the classification, category, don't want the stamp on your forehead? I don't know the right word for it but like is there a reason that your so against being labeled as one? 

Mr. @the_warlock was questioned but, he posted a video a long while ago with him on stage wearing a hatchetman shirt. Don't remember what was on the front. There was a hatchetman on the back.  

It was ABK on the front..

Ahhh, so refreshing to be able to type on an actual laptop instead of a smartphone. Rare treat.

So, I just went through the bank and got approved for the loan. Took like a half hour. I'm super frugal and have never missed a utilities payment, so I set it up for a 2 year for like $230 a month. Not a problem.

Segue to the alcohol side-convo... i figured it would be helpful to get a second job to help pay things along faster. OR, I could quit drinking. So I took a moment, thought, then called up Louie's Liquor and said "I'll see ya at the usual time, Lou!" Ha, I amuse me.

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P.S. to Drunkalo: don't worry, I wouldn't egg you on with the sippin'. I've suspected that sometimes my drinking partners feel obligated to try and match or (Shangri-La forbid) outdo my beer-chuggage. What a horror show. People have physically hurt themselves or done really stupid shit in this process lol....

I mean absolutely nothing by it. Just asking the reasoning. I personally dont care the answer. Is being a juggalo a bad thing in his head? Does he not like the classification? This i can understand, maybe still wanting to classify as a free thinker.

Some of us are looking for a familiar face or a group to 'belong' to. Is he not for that?

My definition of a juggalo differs from others, ive gotten that much being here for a bit. Id like to know why one would NOT like to include him/herself into that group.

Nothing against the person, just wondering why...