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Beef Rap
July 30, 2018
3:23 pm
StacyTinkerbell
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My friend and I have been in a beef rap texting battle for months now. It’s all in fun. Here’s my latest to him:

 

I’m a student of Biggie,  Em,  and Wu Tang Clan

My flow’s fluent,  be spittin’ prose to gain fans. 

I grow through pens, write gritty rhymes through stained hands. 

Mind blown. Screw it, I’m letting out new shame and

My soul renews while i’m getting paid, now who’s fame stands?

Why yo’ music flat? Just quit ’cause your pain can’t

Find no conduit, forgettin’ that truth reigns man.  

 

See your’e a rap coach assistant, 

Your bars are flat,  so just listen 

I’m the Captain Persistent 

You’re career’s nonexistent 

Because tears you resistin’

Your fears you don’t mention

Which steers your remission

So spare me your bitchin’.

 

You mastered the task of bad tracks and worse wordplay

I mastered this class in gas raps stackin’ absurd pay. 

 

Check it, I’m gonna’ dumb

It down now

Wreckin’ my runnin’ numbers 

To announce how

We ain’t buds or friends  

I’ll make sure you understand

That it’s my mater plan

To terrorize your clan

Prepare for the beefin

Let the roastin’ begin.

In plain terms you can hear 

Cuz, you’re dull I’m a veneer.

So best be steerin’ clear,

Or I’ll put a gerbil in your rear

And call you Richard Gere. 

So here we go:

 

I’m the rap G O A T,  you’re just a hack 

tryna’ imitate me but skills you lack

Can’t fade me.  You’re JV

I’m varsity,  baby.

 

Like Method Man I come to bring the pain. 

Hardcore to your brain. It’s insane. 

In the membrane?

I’m B Real from Cypress Hill.

With OG skills, I’m ill,  ya feel?

CEO bills in my tills. You’re nil. 

I’ll steal 

Your cheddar and grab my 44, my beretta.

Put holes in your Cosby sweater.

Like Eddie Vedder said-a

Can’t find a betta’ man. 

I never sweat steppin to competitors

whenever another thinks he’s better.

Never a clever endeavor

‘Cause I sever they’re dreams.

It’s obscene. Nightmares I bring.

I’m bettin’ youre regrettin’ upsettin’ me.

But whatever, I’m ahead of ya, negroe. You slow.

 

Claim to be a balla’? You straight appallin’.

I’m shot callin’ and walkin’ tall.

You got the gall to stall?

Nigga’ I’ll maul ya,

Nail ya to the wall.

Youre frail. Your stale sound failed. 

You hail from Douche-bury Town. 

Where you clownin’ around.

While I’m gettin’ crowned.

 

Yeah, I’m king. Like the boxing

undeated champ, Mayweather –

Got moxy. Can’t stop me.

So stay seated or be treated with repeated socks to your grill and you’ll feel

Like McConner.

 

Talking lots of smack, but I’m stronger.

I got honor which you lack. You got no back-

Bone. You’re in the danger zone.

Shouldn’t be alone cause I’ll attack.

Damn!

Mic drops and I pop the tops 

off the hos, and they knows 

I’m bumpin’ like Bose. 

You be shaking like pops. 

Your rap stops, and here come the cops.

 

You get hauled to central booking, 

not for larceny, murder, or crookin’. 

But for your knock ass lyrics straight soockin’.

 

No, don’t dwell on your tracks that don’t sell. 

Become a pimp,  take it from the Queen Madimmoiselle. 

Here’s a bit of advice:

Gotta’ be like Ray Rice

And smack a ho when she lower the price. 

Or when her coochie get lice?

Don’t think twice to put her head in a vice. 

What do you do when her punanny gets loose?

Just hang her from a noose. 

Or do it like Juice and filet the stupid roose.

 

Now I gotta bounce,  n**ga

Lemme break it down for ya, 

Bar by bar, my words rape your family, bruh. 

See I’m a street-wise lyricist

A f**king rap genius. 

You’re tongue is twisted

‘Cause you’re blacklisted

From the enlisted:

The ultimate rap gods 

They’ll make your crew they bitches.

 

See, my flow dominates the hip hop game, Penetratin’ your spirit and soul with my lyrics.

Infiltratin’ ya brain.

Meditative is the state i create when you, hear it. Don’t fear it, get near it.

But you hesitated ’cause you’re burned out and faded. You’re hated.

Never understated that I dominate this.

Ain’t no more debating, I’m rated

The greatest.

‘Cause ghettos related 

to me. I get paid and

You payin’ me fees. 

Simply stated:

I’m celebrated, you’re reta’ded.

Whoop whoop StacyTinkerbell :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
July 30, 2018
4:24 pm
Drunkalo
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Hell with red meat, i vote turkey sausage!

Whoop whoop Drunkalo :

StacyTinkerbell, SPOOKYtheFUNGI

Yeah bitches, im that short gentleman mentioned in that youtube video.

And the very nice, level headed guy from that other youtube video.

July 30, 2018
6:08 pm
StacyTinkerbell
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I don’t get your response.

July 30, 2018
6:17 pm
Drunkalo
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StacyTinkerbell said
I don’t get your response.  

Couple of the people here are against red meats, beef is a red meat. Turkey sausage is acceptable. Just a joke, no offence.

Whoop whoop Drunkalo :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI

Yeah bitches, im that short gentleman mentioned in that youtube video.

And the very nice, level headed guy from that other youtube video.

July 30, 2018
6:59 pm
StacyTinkerbell
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Dear lord,  I’m dense! Thanks for explaining. BTW,  I’m new here. I’m not quite sure how to navigate through this site.

Whoop whoop StacyTinkerbell :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
July 30, 2018
6:59 pm
scruffy
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worry not, i dont get that one, either.  and i mighta been right there for it, too.  

but i dont think so.  believe i was clingin to the back of psykoscotts whatever-the-hell-is-was-mobile at the time.  

  

[edit]  oh, by the way…  hi.  

Whoop whoop scruffy :

StacyTinkerbell, SPOOKYtheFUNGI

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

July 30, 2018
7:16 pm
StacyTinkerbell
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This is a beef rap I sent my friend last month – it’s in response to one he sent t me about how he’s pimp and how I’ll be sucking his you-know-what so I had to shut him up. It’s all just for fun. He loved it.

 

N**a,  how tha f*ck

am i supposed to suck

Your little dick? You serious?

That shit one fourth a pencil,

I’m on my menstrual, I’m sick.

 

Get the f*ck out

’bout gettin’ in guts

More like yo’ c*ck ain’t stout

My legs I shuts.

See I may be a slut,

I love it in my butt.

But only from legit men

Not boys, not freshmen

But with guys who rockin’ at least ten

Inches, the tip I make sput-

 

Ter in my tight wet punanny

N*ggas flock to my p*ss like bears to honey

Oh you horny? Yo’ d*ck look like the thorny

Of a rose. You couldn’t even orgasm a bunny.

Bitch, you funny, go make money, better make a ton-ey

 

’cause a bruh who look like you,

with that small penis?

Homie don’t play dis

A mouse is yo mistress –

The only thing you may bring

to squirt-ing

Ooh, does that sting?

Ha, my ass so juicy you wanna kiss.

But won’t ’cause ya bone be alone

My kinky pinky ya gonna miss.

Oh dis, Miss Priss.

 

John B, my John B

Have you any tail?

“Yes sir, yes sir

But it comes from a male.”

 

And n*gga what?

You commitin? To gettin’

Up in it?

Not this twat.

You straight trippin’ I’m dippin’

You uglier than Scottie Pippin.

 

Sweetheart, one more thin’

I’m art, you immitatin’

Me while i get agile, G.

Ya see, I’m like Ali.

My words sting like a bee.

Not as much as it stings when you pee,

should stay away from rotten p*ss-y.

I’m free of STDs, you got herpies.

 

Check it, I’ma ’bout to give a million dollars worth of wisdom:

Get an Austin Powers’ Dick Pump

And put ya fists all up in da rump

And leave your little stump

To grow at least bigger than a measles mump

 

Please stop MMA

Playa, you like forty-eight

No one can pull puntang

If they follow a 14 year old sinsai.

 

Wax on and wax off

Daniel son lick my muff

Stop Bogartin’ Just puff

Puff pass, nigga, ’nuff

 

Said. Betta’ be makin’ dat bread

’cause hoes legs you’ll never spread

Never get ’em bed

They never givin’ you head

Should let me pump you with lead

Ego so bruised you better off dead

You an Ewok, I’m the King of the jed

 

-i mind tricks

Suckin’ a mean d*ck

N*ggas f*ckin’ and lick-

in’ my cooch with their huge pr*ck

And stimulatin’ my clit

Wit their tongue, make me cum,

get me some, yum yum.

Dees nuts I gum and then hum.

You a chum. See they hung.

You got the worst of both worlds

With your dick:

 

Small girth and short  length.

N*gga’, don’t speak you lack strength,

You like Sam from Game of Thrones.

I’m fuckin’ Queen Circei.

I rule the seven kingdoms of huge c*cks

You rulin’ little peens, so kick rocks.

July 30, 2018
7:18 pm
StacyTinkerbell
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It’s called “I’m Queen of Huge C*cks, You Rule Little Peens. “

July 30, 2018
7:49 pm
Drunkalo
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scruffy said
worry not, i dont get that one, either.

After the gathering and packing of the car a few of us went to breakfast at ihop/ihob. I was the only one that had normal pig sausage. The rest of everyone else had turkey sausage. So basically to hell with red meats, im going turkey sausage from now on.

And yes ma’am i apologize, welcome!

Whoop whoop Drunkalo :

scruffy, SPOOKYtheFUNGI

Yeah bitches, im that short gentleman mentioned in that youtube video.

And the very nice, level headed guy from that other youtube video.

July 30, 2018
7:56 pm
scruffy
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Drunkalo said

scruffy said
worry not, i dont get that one, either.

After the gathering and packing of the car a few of us went to breakfast at ihop/ihob. I was the only one that had normal pig sausage. The rest of everyone else had turkey sausage. So basically to hell with red meats, im going turkey sausage from now on.
And yes ma’am i apologize, welcome!  

oh.  

so, i was right there for it, and just didnt remember.  

figures.  

Whoop whoop scruffy :

Drunkalo

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

July 30, 2018
8:01 pm
Pigg
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Drunkalo said

scruffy said
worry not, i dont get that one, either.

After the gathering and packing of the car a few of us went to breakfast at ihop/ihob. I was the only one that had normal pig sausage. The rest of everyone else had turkey sausage. So basically to hell with red meats, im going turkey sausage from now on.

And yes ma’am i apologize, welcome!  

Pork is white meat 😉

Whoop whoop Pigg :

Drunkalo, SPOOKYtheFUNGI
July 30, 2018
8:04 pm
Drunkalo
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Ive also been trying to slurp noodles instead of lapping them. I dont remember which ethnicity it was appropriate for, just know im not supposed to show my tongue… Its difficult to try and reteach yourself things. Went to an italian place over the weekend, got a corner booth and started slurping away. 

Pork is white meat, but beef is red meat. The name of the thread is beef rap, was poking fun at that. But your right…

Either way scruff and shaman and the rest of the group went with turkey sausage. 

Yeah bitches, im that short gentleman mentioned in that youtube video.

And the very nice, level headed guy from that other youtube video.

July 31, 2018
3:16 am
StacyTinkerbell
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Well,  now that I know all the detes about the shenanigans that Scruffy, Drunkalo, Pigg,  Shaman, and Co. had at IHOP/IHOB, could you guys tell me your thoughts on my raps? 😊winkcool

Whoop whoop StacyTinkerbell :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI, Drunkalo
July 31, 2018
3:43 am
King Lucem Ferre
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So you like huge dicks, but how do you feel about fat balls? Asking for a friend.

Whoop whoop King Lucem Ferre :

SPOOKYtheFUNGI
July 31, 2018
6:07 am
Drunkalo
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I have no rhythm, i cant figure out the flow to say them right in my head. Its also very wordy, like the lengthy version of In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida. Ill play Mel B and vote X. Simon, Howie?

Yeah bitches, im that short gentleman mentioned in that youtube video.

And the very nice, level headed guy from that other youtube video.

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