I break down songs a lot and try to see how they could be better, I do this because I think it makes me better at song writing, also I'm bored, so we're gonna do this, so here, here's how I think this song could have been changed to make the themes and structure stronger. 

Juice Wlrd - Lucid Dreams 

This song's lyrics are trash, they feel like they're unsuccessfully trying to be deep whilst just succumbing to what every heartbroken 14 year old has felt, and misusing terms that could have resonated pretty well. 

The first thing that is immediately noticeable is the bassline. While the clean guitar-esque parts are used okay, the bass just doesn't fit this song, even just comparing it against those arpeggios being played at the same time its overpowering, it forces the listener to pay attention to either it or the lyrics, at least in a subtle way, body drop songs of all thing do something similar, but those are meant to be more aggressive, this is the complete opposite, the bass notes should have been held on longer and been in a different scale, trap music has many alternatives that would fit the songs tone much better. 

But that's the most subjective part, some people love that kind of bassline in a sad song, so anyways, on to the real problem, those fucking lyrics

The first and most obvious thing that everyone points out is that it sounds like the guy doesn't know what a lucid dream, a lucid dream is where you know you're dreaming and so you can do whatever you want, and yet he says "I can't move a thing" and that he just thinks about his ex during them, so yeah, it really sounds like he just didn't know what a lucid dream was, but its possible that's not the case, I can't prove it was the original intent, but something there could have actually been pretty clever, lets change the word Can't to Don't, using don't the entire dynamic changes, its not just a dream where he can't move, it indicates that he CAN move, but he's so numb and obsessed with this girl that instead he just lays there, thinking about her, even if he can do whatever he wants, he chooses to just stay still because he's so heartbroken he has no motivation to do anything, by changing one word the entire dynamic would change, it would show a severity that is very telling, and most of all it would create an intrigue, it would make the listener think of the rest of the song in context of that pure numbness. 

Nextly, one of the more annoying elements, the verses leave in parts that don't rhyme, to be fair it's not too gratuitous, but it still breaks the flow in a minor way. And more importantly, it makes the relative speed of those parts feel unsatisfying, its not like its fast don't get me wrong, or even faster than the rest of the song, but it is a lot of information being said, and when all this information is being given and has those extra lines that don't rhyme, it feels lazy and unflowing. As I said though, it's not THAT gratuitous so those lines could be left in, but the song is going for a deepish tone, and the more it sounds like you spent a long time on them the more the meaningful lines will feel meaningful. 

The next problem is that almost all the lines feel like repetitive Non-sequiturs they all more or less say the same thing, "i miss you and I can't stop thinking about you" but he tries to use this wording that COULD lend itself to being clever, but then he does nothing with it. For example "I still see your shadows in my room" this is a decent line, when in his room all the can think of is his memories of when she was there. But what would have made the line feel MEANINGFUL instead of just there, would be referencing it elsewhere. Specifically this could be done to fix another Non-sequitur one of the more memorable lines is "It's to the point where I love and I hate you And I cannot change you so I must replace you" This is yet again another decent line but nothing is done with it, the themes of anger towards her, and the desire to replace her are not addressed again. It would make that line more powerful if he talked about trying to move on with another girl, but he still sees "her shadows" so he can't. That would tie it back to the other line, and continue the theme of that line. Also bear in mind the song STARTS with the shadows line, so it only makes sense to make it more of a theme. 

The whole song is filled with lines like these, lines that introduce a metaphor or idea, that aren't used again, this would be fine in a some songs, in some songs it would be done this way to introduce as many ideas as possible, but that DOESN'T WORK in a repetitive song, in a song like this you want every line to support each other because they are all just going to be repeated. 

But perhaps the biggest example is the very title itself, I mentioned the poor wording of the line about lucid dreams, but even if it were worded correctly, while it would be a good line, it would still feel unsupported, but, it could mean a whole lot if at the END of the song he revisits the lucid dream setting, dedicating a verse to that dream, stating what it is he's thinking, why he doesn't move, and what he's seeing. What he's making himself see, and what he's seeing on his own, this would give a genuine dive into his deepest thoughts, and could be very effective in meaning a lot because it would let us put the pieces together, it would let the listener go into an actual, and I hate to use this word, "deep" thought into what the implications of what he is thinking mean. 

Finally, just the all around shitty lines, for example. "you make my heart break, you make my heart ache" oh really, I would have never fucking guessed, you already had a reasonably strong way to show how broken you felt, you didn't need to fucking say it, just saying it makes the imagery not work as well. Instead of just repeating those words, you could take that time to, yet again, flesh out the imagery used before. And save time for an aforementioned verse about the dream. 

Other shit lines include "You found another one, but I am the better one." This line is yet another non-sequitur, and one that feels irrelivant, the new person she's with doesn't matter at all in the context of the song, what matters is the fact that he wishes he was still with him. Now, the fact that she has a new boyfriend is definitely something that should be pointed out, but it's wasted like this, you know how I mentioned how the lines should tie back to one another, well, as I said, one of the most wasted lines is how he says he loves and hates her. This element is the perfect opportunity to expand on that anger, seeing your ex with someone else IS very angering, and he could have mentioned how it was making him hate the both of them. And also the original line just sounds so cringey, it doesn't matter if you were better, when he states it like that it feels less like that's how he's thinking and (because he's in charge of the narrative of the song) feels like he's stating it to be fact, which has nothing to do with his emotions, it would have been much more effective to have a line about the anger it makes him feel when he sees them together. And he even could have referenced the shadows again if he wanted to. 

And then other lines (which is almost all of them so I won't acknowledge each one) just feel so basic and bland, a lot of the lines don't sound poetic at all, meanwhile many of the others are VERY CLEARLY trying to be. It feels like this song needed a shit ton more re-wrights and focus, they should have fleshed out all the symbols throughout the song, the reason being that it is so repetitive, repetition works better and better the more explored your ideas are, and the more you have to think about. That's why people love system of a down despite how repetitive they are, because their lyrics give you so much to think about. And that's what this song needed, something to think about, those themes and ideas it presents are just left there cold in the air. Currently, what it feels like, is he just jotted down the first things that sounded good that came to his head, rather than considering why those lines work.

Some lines feel like they're trying so hard to be deep (the title of the song for instance) but they are never explored, making them, in the most self-explanatory sense, shallow, if you don't explore an idea it will remain shallow no matter what. And the other lines are just too bland to actually do anything more than have your dumb ass audience go "yeah, I've thought that before" but what a song like this really needs is the why instead of the what. 

So yeah, that's how I'd fix captain red pill's song of blandness. Don't feel like you have to read it, just putting it out there, and wondering anyone elses thoughts on the song.