Being a NY pizza snob, and a proud one, I run my mouth about how truly good pizza doesnt even need toppings.

This youngster tried to make a scene by ordering pineapple pizza in CO at work because he thought I’d flip out. But I calmly tried it, saying it wasn’t too bad. His face crumbled. The girl he was trying to impress, wasn’t. There was no freak out. It is a fine topping, definitely lower tier, just unnecessary. It is a topping purely meant to garner attention, not for true flavor enhancement. It’s like anchovies, in that sense. No one TRULY enjoys it, but the act itself stirs conversation. Pineapple on pizza is no more than an ice breaker, a fucking water-cooler conversation topping for bored hipsters and office geeks.

Real pizza needs nothing extra. However, the following are acceptable:

– pepperoni

– bacon and banana peppers

– Buffalo chicken

I also think mushrooms on pizza is bulmshit. 

https://twitter.com/pasquines_us/status/1590050197727744001

the scarlet shellacking has begun

and I love Pineapple Pizza but the real trick is you order it with BBQ sauce instead of the tomato sauce