Know what’s sad? I actually do kinda have a turtle lamp. It’s a night lite that I had as a kid. In my opinion, it lights up, it’s a lamp. If you think about it, what was the marketing logic behind this product? It’s more creepy than anything.

Nah man, it’s ceramic. It’s just a little light , like the kind some people put in the bathroom so we don’t end up pissing in the bathtub at 2 in the morning lol. It just has a little turtle crawling up the plastic part in front of the little light bulb. I liked it as a kid, and I still have it in my bathroom. Thanks turtle lamp, you help me not stub my toes or shit in the sink. Turtle lamps my homie…….yeah, I’m 33

Now that im getting older too,im 31,lots of these young Juggalos are really immature and I can see why they throw shit and act like fuckin assholes and do dumb shit like rob people or deface property or kill people.

You never know man, maybe your new homie Pat will help you get there. Believe me, you have a much better chance of that happening than Ed McMahon showing up on your doorstep. Imagine that shit? You open up the door and Ed McMahon’s corpse just falls over on you, all embalmed and stiff and shit. You start beatin his dead ass, “Where’s my check bitch!!” Haha, like I said man, I can’t guarantee it, but have some faith man. If things are still going well for me come August I’ll get you to the gathering man. Fat guy burgers, bud, beers and bitches, good times man

I was kinda thinkin cross country road trip, leave a week beforehand or whatever and head out that way, maybe we’ll hit a State Fair or two and eat fried scorpions and cream puffs and shit. Fried Cap’n Crunch, they got all types of cool shit at those things. Or there’s airplanes that fly into Illinois, we can figure it out man. You deserve to go as much as me or anyone else. Can’t guarantee it, but as of now it’s on homie. We can throw Juggahoej in the lake. It’s alright, shit floats. In Lake Hepatitis, it allllllll floats!!! Just playin juggahoej, don’t go on a tirade begging me to do it.

@Pat..I don't know if I would eat a scorpion on a stick dude, but I'll definitely get down on them fried Cap'n Crunch.I'm in So Cal,we don't get cool shit like that.Fairs out here are lame as hell.I seen some on the Bizarre Foods show that looks cool.I have a car I could make it to Illinois,probably cost the same to fly as it would in gas.When I get there, l could always find JuggaloJ and get in under the gate ninja style.HAHA.

Y'all count me in. I'll supply the jackie daniels and the craigslist hookers