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HatchetmanGirl
Sex stories
March 11, 2013
12:23 am
iLLtheClown
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This is part of the forum that never really has anything going on in it. So...

 

One day I was spending time with this great chick (freaky bitch)... we were getting down n dirty and as we were about to do the deed she stopped me and said "When you are about to nut tell me." So when the time comes (no pun) I tell her and as fast as this chick can move hops off me gets on her knees and catches some of it on her face. Everythings fine and dandy we rest for a bit. After a brief moment we start to clean ourselves up when I see the shirt, hat & shoes I had with me were splashed with my nut. Moral of the story tell the bitch to catch it on her stomach.

March 11, 2013
12:25 am
King Lucem Ferre
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No, not that shirt... it's covered in love!!!!!

March 11, 2013
12:33 am
iLLtheClown
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Add insult to injury it was winter freezing and I wouldn't wear either afterwards.

March 11, 2013
2:08 am
SexyLette420
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What part of facial did she not understand?

Did she think she was playing in a sprinkler? Lmao

March 11, 2013
2:18 am
scruffy
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das funni.

  awfully paranoid, arent you?   

March 11, 2013
1:36 pm
iLLtheClown
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I think she thought she was playing with a water gun...

 

Share a story if you have one.

March 14, 2013
12:28 am
Cabal
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Claps hands

March 14, 2013
12:42 am
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The Warlock
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i have a kinda similar story.. only i didnt tell the chick until i was already cumming haha.. then she just went & spit it out in her sink.. that bitch was lame... only suckin & never lettin me hit... she was a cutie tho.. would always just catch it in her mouth...

flh-banna-coFFFpyDD_zpsKKl9s7vkap.jpg

March 14, 2013
7:27 am
PunkRockJuggalo
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The Warlock said:

 only i didnt tell the chick until i was already cumming haha.. then she just went & spit it out in her sink..

 

that why once you blow in her mouth u make sure to hold her head on ur dick  until see swallows surprised

March 14, 2013
11:51 am
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The Warlock
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PunkRockJuggalo said:

The Warlock said:

 only i didnt tell the chick until i was already cumming haha.. then she just went & spit it out in her sink..

 

that why once you blow in her mouth u make sure to hold her head on ur dick  until see swallows surprised

Image Enlarger

flh-banna-coFFFpyDD_zpsKKl9s7vkap.jpg

March 17, 2013
9:04 pm
Preachy The Clown
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One time i had just got home from my night shift job and i wanted to get down with my wife and we were kissing huggin and what not and i started to work my way to her chest and and nipples and i felt my head fall some and my wife yelled super loud and i was taken back in shock and i asked why she yelled and she said i bit her nipple cuz i fell asleep some and then i slept. No nookie

March 17, 2013
9:20 pm
PunkRockJuggalo
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March 18, 2013
12:15 am
SexyLette420
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Uhh let's see. I got "set-up" by my good friend with this guy and we went out and clicked really fast. We were down to go back to his place and we had a few beers and started messin around. We are all hot n heavy and he says to me..

 "I only have one, I hope that's okay."

My first thought was what the fuck is he talking about, so I just sit there with this blank stare on my face then I realized what he's talking about. He only had one nut.

 

He lost it while he was over in Iraq in an IED accident..

 

We've been together going on 4 years in July. Yay for happy endings!! :D hahaa I still give him shit about it because it was so awkwardly funny.

Whoop Whoop SexyLette420 :

GothicShorty
March 18, 2013
12:56 am
King Lucem Ferre
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Half Sack.

March 18, 2013
1:01 am
SexyLette420
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Lucem Ferre said:

Half Sack.

Yes sir, it's super symmetrical haha

March 18, 2013
4:46 am
Frog
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Sex stories, i got plently.

Let's go with the most recent.

Banging a chick on her rag, i fingered her bloody puss and signed my name on her leg, with her blood.

I met this chick, fucked the zombie out her , she proceeded to blow me.
Her blow job was so terrible, i asked her to get my phone from downstairs, so i could record it. Because i was that bored.

Another girl, had to teach her how to such my dick. At one point i got frustrated, told her ima just fuck her in the ass. Had her finger blast her ass before i dove in. Im smashing it, gaging her, slapping her. By the end, she was gaging herself, and slapping herself while i tagging her butthole.

Another chick, in and out both holes. Had a double headed up her shute, me in the neden. And a vibrator on the clit. (She didn't like it rough though)

Another one, i ate her bloody puss. Till she came in my mouth, bloody pussy cum aint for sober people.

Should i keep going

From tadpoles to frogs to Jesus to legends.

March 26, 2013
5:14 pm
iBlackSunday
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These are hilarious, please continue ninja.

March 26, 2013
5:20 pm
JuggaloJ
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How many people here have had sex WHILE driving? Just like to know if anyone else here has. Most people look at me crazy when I ask that. If you haven't I don't suggest trying. Dangerous to say the least. Iv only done it once. The worst part was I was drunk, at night, and it was raining.

March 26, 2013
5:25 pm
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The Warlock
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Frog said:

gaging her, slapping her. By the end, she was gaging herself, and slapping herself while i tagging her butthole.

gagging with what??

JuggaloJ said:

How many people here have had sex WHILE driving? Just like to know if anyone else here has. Most people look at me crazy when I ask that. If you haven't I don't suggest trying. Dangerous to say the least. Iv only done it once. The worst part was I was drunk, at night, and it was raining.

ive had sex in a car plenty times but never while it was in motion haha crazy fucker..

 

Frog said:

Sex stories, i got plently.

Let's go with the most recent.

Banging a chick on her rag, i fingered her bloody puss and signed my name on her leg, with her blood.

I met this chick, fucked the zombie out her , she proceeded to blow me.
Her blow job was so terrible, i asked her to get my phone from downstairs, so i could record it. Because i was that bored.

Another girl, had to teach her how to such my dick. At one point i got frustrated, told her ima just fuck her in the ass. Had her finger blast her ass before i dove in. Im smashing it, gaging her, slapping her. By the end, she was gaging herself, and slapping herself while i tagging her butthole.

Another chick, in and out both holes. Had a double headed up her shute, me in the neden. And a vibrator on the clit. (She didn't like it rough though)

Another one, i ate her bloody puss. Till she came in my mouth, bloody pussy cum aint for sober people.

Should i keep going

hate to call you out fam but besides the "out there" ness of your stories the bolded kinda makes what you seem fake.. bitches dont cum like guys do.. they just orgasm.. usually theres no liquid.. unless its squirt.. even then most dont cum as they squirt…

flh-banna-coFFFpyDD_zpsKKl9s7vkap.jpg

March 26, 2013
5:25 pm
PunkRockJuggalo
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JuggaloJ said:

How many people here have had sex WHILE driving? Just like to know if anyone else here has. Most people look at me crazy when I ask that. If you haven't I don't suggest trying. Dangerous to say the least. Iv only done it once. The worst part was I was drunk, at night, and it was raining.

ive tired once almost crashed  never again

ive gotten head while driving alot

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